Awaken From the Nap

Anything that you want to achieve in life will require that you tolerate some discomfort. For example, if you want to run a marathon, you’ll need to get up early each morning to go for a run–or do some strength training–, even if you’re tired and would rather stay in bed. During long runs you’ll begin to get tired, but you have to push yourself through that discomfort and keep going.

The same thing applies to dancing ballet, becoming a lawyer (long nights in the library studying for tests, sacrificing time with friends in order to write briefs for mock trial, the stress of being called on in class, and so on), getting a promotion at work (more job responsibilities, higher expectations from your boss, etc.), or anything else.

Psychological pain is part of the price that we have to pay in order to achieve what we want in life.

Constructive Discomfort v. Useless Discomfort

Robert Leahy, PhD.,– Director of the American Institute for Cognitive Therapy in New York City–calls the discomfort that’s associated with achieving your goals, “constructive discomfort“. Achieving things that are important to you will require that you tolerate some discomfort, frustration, and psychological pain. You simply need to accept that discomfort is a part of life.

On the other hand, if you don’t act in order to achieve those goals that are important to you, that causes discomfort as well. However, that discomfort isn’t constructive; in fact, it’s completely useless. As long as you’re going to feel discomfort whether you pursue your goals or not, wouldn’t you rather experience constructive discomfort, instead of useless discomfort? Of course you would.

Overestimating the Discomfort

Something else to be taken into consideration when it comes to procrastination is that most procrastinators overestimate how uncomfortable taking action will be for them. Leahy recommends that you follow this exercise:

• Choose an activity that you’ve been procrastinating on. For example, let’s suppose that you’ve been wanting to start an exercise program for some time now, but you keep putting it off.
• Now, think of how uncomfortable exercising will be for you, on a scale from 1 to 10 (where “1″ is mildly uncomfortable and “10″ is the equivalent of water boarding torture).
• After you’ve written down your prediction, do the task that you’ve been avoiding. In our example, you would go out for a twenty minute walk, or swim a few laps in the pool.
• Ask yourself the following two questions: “How unpleasant was it?” and “For how long was it unpleasant?”

Leahy explains that you may be procrastinating because you think that certain activities will be much more uncomfortable than they really are. People who have this tendency are called “pessimistic procrastinators”. When these people finally get started on the task that they’ve been procrastinating on, they often discover two things:

• That the discomfort they felt while performing the task wasn’t as bad as they thought it would be; and
• That the discomfort didn’t last as long as they thought it would.

In addition, once you’ve gotten past the discomfort of the task, you often experience positive feelings. These can include the following:

• Feeling proud that you accomplished the task.
• Having a sense of effectiveness.
• Feelings of self-efficacy.
• Feeling like you’re ready to take on the next task.

Conclusion

When you find yourself procrastinating on a task, Leahy recommends that you empower yourself by focusing on how good and how proud of yourself you’ll feel once you’ve completed the task, instead of focusing on the discomfort that you might feel while you’re working on the task. Think of the following:

• By focusing on the unpleasantness of the task, you’ll do anything you can to avoid it.
• By focusing on the positive effects of carrying out the action, you’ll get to it.

Overcome procrastination by practicing discomfort.

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Writing, especially self-exploratory writing done on a regular basis, has been linked to emotional well-being and a strong sense of self-knowledge and self-trust.

Many people find that writing is therapeutic, it helps to release tension, and it can even be used as a form of meditation. Writing gives insight, it gives perspective, it’s a problem-solving technique, and it can serve as an outlet for bottled up emotions, unresolved trauma, or for creative expression. Journaling is a great way to introduce self-exploratory writing into your life.

If you wish to establish a journaling practice, one approach is to purchase a Moleskine, set a timer for twenty minutes, and simply write whatever comes to mind without stopping until the timer goes off. However, there are two writing techniques–or journaling methods–which can help make your journaling sessions more satisfying, efficient, and effective.

These two methods are the following:

• Proprioceptive Writing
• Morning Pages

Both methods are explained below.

Proprioceptive Writing

Proprioceptive Writing is a writing practice created in 1976 by Linda Trichter Metcalf. She writes about it in her book, “Writing the Mind Alive: The Proprioceptive Method for Finding Your Authentic Voice”. “Proprioception” comes from the Latin “proprius” meaning “one’s own”

This writing practice consists of listening to your thoughts and slowing down the thought process to the time it takes to write down what you’re thinking. It involves inner listening and an honest exploration of your thoughts and feelings. In addition, it connects your mind with your emotions, and it strengthens your sense of self.

To carry out this practice you simply find a place where you will not be disturbed for twenty-five minutes; you light a candle, turn on Baroque music, and place a stack of unlined white paper and a pen in front of you. The candle is meant to create a sacred space for your writing and to help you focus, and Baroque music has been shown to induce the alpha brain frequency, which is the level of mind commonly associated with meditation.

To begin you simply take the first thought that enters your mind and write it down. You then proceed to write down what you’re thinking, what you’re feeling, what interests you, and what concerns you. As you write, don’t worry about grammar, punctuation, word usage, sentence structure, style or eloquence.

Ask yourself: “What do I mean by _____” whenever something you write down catches your attention. This will help you to amplify that thought, and will allow you to reflect on it more meaningfully. Proprioceptive Writing differs from stream of consciousness writing in that you’re not asked to simply write without thinking; quite the opposite, you’re instructed to reflect on your thoughts.

Although you’re asked to listen to yourself and to reflect on what you’re thinking, you’re not to judge or critique what you’re writing down. Think of yourself as an archeologist on a dig, curiously scrutinizing and examining each thought, without judgment. At the end you can read what you wrote out loud to yourself so that you can hear your thoughts again in your own voice. This practice will help you to explore your mind, reconnect with your inner self and with your emotions, and find your authentic voice.

Morning Pages

Mental clutter or debris stands in the way of our creative potential. In the book, “The Artist’s Way at Work”, the authors offer Morning Pages as a tool to help you clear out this debris. As the name suggests, Morning Pages are to be done in the morning; the waking mind is more open to free-form writing and can more easily jump from one subject to another without the constraints set by reason.

When writing your Morning Pages there is no time limit, instead, you’re asked to write until you’ve filled three pages in long hand. This takes some people twenty minutes, while it takes others forty or forty-five minutes. You simply write down anything that comes to mind for three pages and then stop. Your writing can be about the things that you hope to accomplish during the day, questions you need answered, problems you need to solve, and so on.

Morning Pages help us to prioritize and organize our days according to our authentic needs and agendas. Think of them as a holding spot for your thoughts, feelings, and ideas. In addition, it’s a place for inspirations to emerge.

As an added benefit, Morning Pages help us to identify the different voices of our inner self. The authors of the “The Artist’s Way at Work” explain that we all possess the following inner voices: the Tyrant, the Rebel, the Inner Critic, the Inner Mentor, and the Inner Child, among others. As you progress with your Morning Pages you will learn to recognize each of these voices and get better at identifying which ones to ignore and which ones you need to pay closer attention to.

Conclusion

Whatever method you choose, I would strongly encourage you to begin a regular journaling practice. Many people have what they call a “holy hour” in the morning, which they use for meditation, contemplation, or simply to gather their thoughts before the day officially begins.

Consider creating a sacred space for yourself every morning in which there is nothing but you and a blank sheet of paper beckoning you to set forth your thoughts, feelings, needs and wants, and to reconnect with yourself.

“The act of putting pen to paper encourages pause for thought, this in turn makes us think more deeply about life, which helps us regain our equilibrium.” ~ Norbet Platt

Related Posts:

• 18 Things to Do With a Moleskine, or Any Notebook
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• 119 Journal Prompts for Your Journal Jar
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“A bucket list is what you want to do; a reverse bucket list is what you’ve already done.” – Marelisa Fabrega

By now I think everyone knows what a bucket list is: a list of things that you want to accomplish before you “kick the bucket”. I’m a great believer in bucket lists; it’s a great way of creating a blueprint for your life and living by design. However, I think that it’s equally important to look back and make a list of the things that you’ve already accomplished. That is, create a reverse bucket list.

In the spirit of looking to the future while honoring the past, here’s my reverse bucket list (I decided to limit it to 50 things I’ve already done):

1. Visited the Pyramids of Giza (the only one of the Seven Wonders of the Ancient World that still exists today); went camel trekking in the Sinai desert.

2. Took a cruise down the Nile and visited Abu Simbel near Aswan.

3. Graduated from college–Georgetown University in Washington, DC–and earned a Bachelor of Science in Business Administration (majored in marketing and international business).

4. Got my Juris Doctor (J.D.) from the Georgetown University Law Center.

5. Passed the New York Bar (on my first try).

6. Volunteered for a non-profit organization that defended victims of domestic violence.

7. Lived in Florence, Italy for a year.

8. Learned to speak Italian fluently.

9. Saw Michelangelo’s “David” at the Galleria dell’Accademia (the one at the Piazza della Signoria, which is where the original had been, is a replica).

10. Rode a gondola in Venice.

11. Went to Pisa and saw the Leaning Tower.

12. Worked in London for three months (it was an internship).

13. Visited the British Museum (several times, it’s amazing).

14. Visited the Tate Gallery.

15. Visited Stratford-Upon-Avon (Shakespeare’s birthplace).

16. Got deported from Malta (for lack of a visa; it’s a long story).

17. Saw the Mona Lisa at the Louvre; (also saw the Venus di Milo and took a photograph, for which I was almost kicked out of the museum by a very angry security guard).

18. Got my portrait painted by a street artist outside of Sacre Coeur Cathedral in Montmartre; (I no longer have it though, so I guess I need to go back).

19. Saw a show at the Moulin Rouge.

20. Had tea at Fortnum & Mason, Picadilly , London.

21. Have ridden in a horse-drawn carriage in New York City.

22. Have seen at least two shows in Broadway (“Les Miserables” and “Cats”).

23. Went to San Francisco and saw the Bay Bridge.

24. I’ve been to Disney World three times (and I would go back 100 times if I could).

25. Greeted and shook hands with Prince Felipe of Spain (he was attending graduate school at Georgetown while I was in law school and I saw him at a party; he’s very nice and approachable).

26. Went to the Alhambra in Spain.

27. Took horse-back riding lessons (I actually fell off a horse and ended up in the hospital).

28. Negotiated a collective bargaining agreement (between the Panama Canal Commission and the Pilot’s Union).

29. Stood astride at the Prime Meridian (and have the picture to prove it).

30. Skied at St. Moritz and Vail, Colorado (as well as other less colorful places).

31. Saw Mikhail Baryshnikov perform at the Kennedy Center; I also heard Lady Margaret Thatcher speak at the Kennedy Center and heard José Carreras sing at the Kennedy Center.

32. Am a squidoo lensmaster (have published three lenses so far).

33. Gambled at Atlantic City.

34. Saw an opera in the Verona amphitheatre — Arena di Verona; (Verona is the town Romeo and Juliet were from).

35. Visited the Prado Museum in Madrid.

36. Saw Pablo Picasso’s Guernica.

37. Have been to Niagara Falls (on both the American and the Canadian side).

38. Have been to the Vatican.

39. Have done research at the Library of Congress.

40. Have been to a session of the Supreme Court of the United States.

41. Have seen the cherry blossoms in full bloom around the Tidal Basin in Washington, DC.

42. Learned to ride a bike (at the ripe old age of 23).

43. Am second-degree Reiki; (Reiki is a Japanese technique for channeling healing energy).

44. Interned for a judge in the Superior Court of the District of Columbia.

45. Completed a partial transit of the Panama Canal.

46. Have been to the Musée de l’Orangerie in Paris, France.

47. Have been to the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York, USA.

48. Have visited the Coliseum in Rome.

49. I have a postgraduate degree in mediation (from the University of Panama).

50. Have published a popular blog.

What’s on your reverse bucket list? I encourage you to create one.

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