I’m having a Black Friday Sale (through Monday). All of my eBooks are 25% off. The discount code is “Holidays” (without the quotations). Here’s the selection to choose from:

To all of my US readers, Happy Thanksgiving! 🙂

Many people have a list of ambitious projects they plan to complete, such as the following:

• Write a bestselling novel
• Run a marathon
• Start a blog and build it up to 10,000 subscribers
• Invest a large amount of money and live off the interest
• Donate a million dollars to charity

I’m a big believer in aiming high.  I read somewhere that most people underestimate what they can do in the long run.  However, they also overestimate what they can do in the short run. You can set humongous goals for yourself over the long haul, but in the short run, you need to keep things small.

Below you’ll find four ways to achieve your goals by thinking small. The four ways are the following:

• Break Big Projects Down Into Small Action Steps
• Micromovements
• Reward Yourself For Small Achievements
• Kaizen

Break Big Projects Down Into Small Action Steps

When you’re feeling overwhelmed by a large project or goal that you need to tackle, make your action steps smaller and easier. One clue that will let you know that you need to break your goal down into smaller chunks is that you find yourself procrastinating.  Procrastination is often caused by the feeling of being overwhelmed.

By breaking big projects down into small action steps, you can accomplish great things.  Here are three examples:

Writing a Novel

Harry Sinclair Drago was an American novelist who specialized in historical fiction set in the Southwestern United States. He was a prolific author and over the course of his career he wrote short stories, screenplays, articles, and more than 100 novels.

In fact, Drago wrote more than three full-length novels a year for 30 years. Once a reporter asked him: “How did you write over a hundred books?” And he answered: “Four pages a day”.

Going From Couch Potato to Running a 5K

Another example of the importance of breaking projects down into small steps is “The Couch to 5K Running Plan”.  It offers a running schedule to help couch potatoes take up running. The plan has helped thousands to go from running zero miles to running three miles, in just two months.

Josh Clark explains that a lot of people are turned off from running by trying to start too fast. They go out and jog for as long as they can endure right off the bat and wake up the next day with every ache and pain imaginable. Then they wonder why on earth anyone would want to take up running.

If you go here and look at the running schedule provided, you’ll see the following:

• It starts off the first day alternating just 60 seconds of jogging with 90 seconds of walking for a total of 20 minutes.
• Then, gradually, throughout the next nine weeks the jogging time is increased and the walking time is decreased.
• By the end of the two months you’re jogging for 30 minutes straight, which is basically the equivalent of three miles or 5 kilometers.

A person can go from couch potato to running a 5K in just two months by breaking down the task into small, doable steps.

Marketing Your Business

A third example is marketing your business. Suppose that you want more clients for your business, but you’re not doing anything about it.  Why? It’s very likely because “find new clients” is simply too large a task, and you’re not sure how to tackle it.

Ask yourself: “What’s the first thing I need to do?” It could be: “Contact leads”. If this task still looks too large, you can make it even smaller: “Identify leads”.

Another item you can add is “Look for networking events I can attend.”  You could also add, “Identify former clients and ask for referrals.”  These are examples of small, specific activities you can schedule and carry out, rather than staring blankly at the amorphous: “Find new clients”.

Micromovements – Make It Small Enough to Get You Going

If you’re having one of those days in which you just can’t get yourself to move, or there’s a project that you just can’t seem to get started on, try micromovements.  Micromovements is a term coined by motivational writer SARK. It consists of itsy-bitsy-teeny-weeny movements.

SARK explains that she’s a recovering procrastinator and perfectionist with a short attention span, so she invented micromovements as a method of completing projects in time spans of 5 minutes or less. She adds the following:

“All of my 11 published books, posters, cards and company exist due to many thousands and thousands of micromovements all strung together. I think of the micromovements as tiny colored beads that have helped me be someone who lives in her dreams instead of talking about them.”

SARK adds that it’s important to write down each micromovement with a day and time. For example, if she wants to create a purple pillow, she would write down the following:

1. Call Nancy Wed. 10am ask where she got the great purple fabric
2. Thu 11am, put fabric near sewing machine
3.  Fri 4pm, draw two types of pillow ideas
4.  Sat 2pm, assemble supplies for 5 minutes
5.  Sun 5pm sew a pillow cover

Although using micromovements means that you’ll proceed slowly, it’s a much better alternative than never getting started. Just go slow and steady.

Reward Yourself for Small Achievements

Small victories create psychological momentum. Matthew White is the author of “‘The Confidence Bible: the Little Blue Book of Fearless Confidence”. He explains that the principle of using small wins to build psychological momentum was presented in a Ph.D. dissertation at Stanford University in 1977.

When someone praises you, you feel good because your brain produces a chemical called dopamine. When you praise yourself by checking off a completed action step, you get the same physiological result. As you achieve one small win after another, you find it easier and easier to take the action steps that generate the wins.

Basically, it’s about applying Newtonian physics to your task list: if you can get yourself to start ticking off small items, you’ll be on a roll and will continue ticking off items.  In addition, giving yourself positive reinforcement after each small achievement will help you even more in keeping the momentum going.

The process to follow is this: break each task down into small action steps; make it easy to identify when you’ve completed each step; reward yourself for each achievement, even if it’s just by acknowledging and congratulating yourself each time you complete an item; repeat.

Kaizen – Continuous Improvement

Kaizen is a Japanese philosophy.  It’s based on making little changes on an ongoing basis: always improving productivity and effectiveness while reducing waste. It’s a soft, gradual method and the concept can be applied to any aspect of your life.

In addition, Kaizen is about creating systems and processes, and continuously tweaking these processes to get the best results and to reduce waste. One example is to create a morning routine and modify it slightly every few days to create improved results:

• Do you spend less time in the bathroom getting ready if you keep your shaving cream, tooth brush, and toothpaste on the bathroom counter instead of storing these items under the sink?
• What if you hang a hook by the door and make sure to always leave your keys there when you enter the house so you can easily find them in the morning when you’re leaving the house?
• What if you put coffee and water in the coffee maker the night before instead of doing it in the morning?
• What if you also put an umbrella stand by the door?

Anything can be improved continuously, one small tweak at a time.

Conclusion

Make things easy for yourself:

• Set yourself up to succeed by breaking your projects down into small, manageable steps.
• If there’s a project you’re resisting or if you’re just having a lazy day, allow yourself to move in micromovements.
• Create momentum by checking off small items from your list. Congratulate yourself for each item you complete, however small.
• Also, use the concept of Kaizen to make small, constant changes to your life so that you’re always on the road of continuous improvement.

In order to achieve big goals,  think small.

Related Posts:

1. Time Management Secret: Do It Tomorrow
2. Time Investment: Invest Your Time Instead of Spending It
3. Stop Procrastinating Tip: Practice Discomfort
4. The One-Hour-A-Day Formula
5. How to Live a “Hell, Yeah!” Life

Many of us find that we’re constantly being harassed by a judging, demeaning, critical inner voice. When we try to do something new, the voice tells us that we’re going to fail. When we suffer a setback, the voice tells us that we’ll never amount to anything. And when we do our best, the voice tells us that our best will never be good enough.

That inner voice goes by many names: inner critic, inner gremlin, inner demon, and so on. Uncontested, it can cause a myriad of problems, including performance fear, procrastination, self-doubt, guilt, shame, and more. Whatever you decide to call it–if you want to be happy and if you want to achieve your goals–, this voice needs to be dealt with. Below you’ll discover three ways to silence your inner critic.

The three ways are the following:

• Seligman’s Three Step-Technique
• Using IFS to Silence Your Inner Critic
• Develop Your Inner Champion and Your Inner Mentor

Seligman’s Three-Step Technique

Martin Seligman, PhD, is the founder of positive psychology and author of the book “Learned Optimism”.  He refers to the voice of your inner critic as “catastrophic thoughts”. Seligman has a technique to combat these thoughts, which consists of the following three steps:

First. You recognize that you’re having a catastrophic thought.

Second. You learn to treat that thought as if it were being said by some third person who’s trying to make your life miserable. For example, if the catastrophic thought is about your work, pretend that it’s being said by someone who wants the same promotion that you’re gunning for. As another example, if the catastrophic thought involves someone you’re interested in, pretend that it’s being said by someone who’s a rival for that person’s affection.

Third. You dispute the thought—just as you would dispute a co-worker saying negative things about you to your boss—and you marshal evidence against it.

Seligman indicates that if you follow these three steps consistently, gradually you’ll get better and better at neutralizing catastrophic thoughts. That is, you’ll gradually diminish the hold that the inner critic has on you. (Source).

Using IFS to Silence Your Inner Critic

Internal Family Systems Therapy (IFS) is a new form of psychotherapy developed by psychologist Richard Schwartz. IFS recognizes that our psyches are made up of many different parts, sometimes called subpersonalities. It’s like having lots of little people inside your head, each with its own perspectives, feelings, memories, goals, and motivations.

All of these little people make up your internal community or family. Here are some examples of the different subpersonalities you may have inside your head:

•  The Criticized Child
• The Loving Caretaker
• The Angry Voice
• The Manager
• A part of you that wants to get things done.
• A part of you that wants to procrastinate.

And, of course, there’s the Inner Critic. IFS holds that none of these voices wants to hurt you; they’re just acting from their own viewpoints and trying to further their own agendas. What you need to do is to treat them as a family by doing the following:

• Speak to each part separately and try to figure out what it wants.
• Try to work out a compromise between the different parts. You want to look for a way in which your different parts can work with each other more constructively.

In the book “Self-Therapy for Your Inner Critic: Transforming Self Criticism into Self-Confidence”, Jay Earley, PhD, and Bonnie Weiss, LCSW, explain that the inner critic is a protector. Among other things, it wants to keep you safe from failure and humiliation, and it figures that the best way to do this is by preventing you from trying anything new. One way it seeks to accomplish this is by judging and discouraging you.

Earley and Weiss indicate that once you realize that your inner critic is just trying to look out for you—albeit in a very misguided way—you can befriend your inner critic. Try negotiating with your inner critic on the best way to protect you. Once it feels that its concerns are being acknowledged, the inner critic is more likely to be reasonable.

In addition, there may be a part of you—most likely the Criticized Child—that feels hurt by the things that the inner critic says. Try befriending that part of you with love and compassion. See who else is hanging around and listen to what they have to say.

In a way you can become a therapist to your own inner family so that each voice—including your inner critic—begins to talk in a way that is more conducive to your happiness and to the achievement of your goals.

Develop Your Inner Champion and Your Inner Mentor

Developing your Inner Champion and your Inner Mentor is another technique offered by Earley and Weiss. In their book, “Activating Your Inner Champion Instead of Your Inner Critic”, they argue that you can develop an inner aspect of yourself that they call the Inner Champion.

Your Inner Champion supports and encourages you. It’s that voice in your head that helps you to do the following:

• Recognize your intrinsic self-worth.
• Realize that you’re OK as you are.
• Encourage you to be who you are.

Earley and Weiss explain that one way to think of your Inner Champion is as “the ideal supportive parent you always wished you had”.

Think of someone who has really high self-esteem. Others may criticize that person, but their self-confidence acts as a buffer against these criticisms. In the same way, your Inner Champion can help you to develop the self-esteem that you need to protect you from the inner critic’s negative comments.

The Inner Mentor is a transformation of the Inner Critic. Let’s face it: sometimes your Inner Critic is right (or at least partially right). We all need to take a good look at ourselves and ask whether there are some changes that we need to make, or if there’s room for improvement. Here are some examples:

• You may have hurt someone unnecessarily.
• You may be overdoing it with the doughnuts and you really should cut back.
• You may have set a goal that’s such a stretch from your comfort zone that it’s unlikely that you’ll take the steps necessary in order to achieve it.

The Inner Critic tries to tell you these things. However, it tells you in a way that chips away at your self-confidence and your self-esteem. That is, the problem isn’t with the message, but with the way in which the message is being delivered.

Therefore, you need to work on ways to transform the voice of your Inner Critic into a wiser, gentler voice that helps you to grow and better yourself without being harsh or nasty. Your Inner Mentor is a healthy version of your Inner Critic.

Conclusion

While some people have stronger inner critics than others, we all have an inner critic. And we’ve all given in to our inner critic at one time or another and failed to go after what we really wanted. Fortunately, there are many ways to deal with your inner critic. Try the three methods explained above for silencing your inner critic, and begin living your best life.

Related Posts:

1. Three Superb Exercises For Boosting Your Self-Esteem
2. Stop Making Excuses – Start Living Your Dreams
3. As a Man Thinketh – The Power of Right Thought
4. Strengthening Your Willpower: Four Ways to Listen to The Angel On Your Shoulder
5. How to Make Yourself Lucky

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Contrary to popular belief, happiness isn’t something that just happens.  You have to work on being happy.  To help you with that, here are 37 happiness tips and snidbits:

1. Just be yourself.

2. Realize that you’re fighting against a world of your own creation.

3. Make sure that there’s congruence between how you spend your day and what matters most to you.

4. Know that your happiness is independent of how much stuff you own.

5. Change yourself instead of expecting the world to change to meet your expectations.

6. Define happiness as peace, tranquility, and serenity.

7. Remember there’s no such thing as the perfect life.

8. Identify the people who are most important to you and look for ways to spend more time with them.

9. Just for today, pretend that you have amnesia about anything that stresses or worries you.

10. Have hope: imagine positive outcomes. Psychologist Mary C. Lamia, PhD, explains that being unrelentingly optimistic about the future helps you to recognize that you’re adaptable and capable, which enables you to reassure yourself that you will get through a tough time.

11. Practice radical acceptance. Radical acceptance is recognizing that you can’t change something that has already happened, and accepting that each moment is as it should be, given what’s happened before. Fighting with what is will only result in frustration and unhappiness.

Here’s a quote from Eckhart Tolle that encapsulates this idea perfectly: “Accept – then act. Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it. Always work with it, not against it.”

12. Don’t turn small problems into big ones.

13. Stop comparing yourself to others. As Louise Hay once said, “We are meant to be different. When we accept this, there is no competition and no comparison.”

14. Keep reminding yourself that nothing has to happen outside of yourself for you to be happy.

15. When you change your thoughts you literally rewire your brain; start rewiring your brain for happiness.

16. Be very careful of where you choose to place your attention.

17. Whatever thoughts are causing you pain, remember, they’re just thoughts. You can change your thoughts.

18. Choose a positive attitude. The Dalai Lama once said that “The central method for achieving a happier life is to train your mind in a daily practice that weakens negative attitudes and strengthens positive ones.”

19. Initiate a complaint fast—go anywhere from 24 hours to 21 days without complaining.

20. Try turning the stories that you tell yourself about what happens in your life into comedies instead of dramas.

21. Make a list of the things you need in order to be truly happy; make it a really short list. (Here’s an example: Having good health, sufficient money for food and shelter, no debts, loving friends and family, and something meaningful to work toward).

22. Keep a happiness journal in which you write down only the things that make you happy.

23. Every morning plan three things you’ll do on that day: one that gives you pleasure, one that will help put you in the state of flow, and one that will give your life meaning.

24. Schedule short, frequent vacations; studies show that the anticipation leading up to the time off is one of the best parts about taking a vacation.

25. Engage in humility; you can only carry the burden of pride and of having a huge ego for so long before you crack under the pressure of upholding your incredible significance.

26. Dr. Timothy Sharp recommends that you set aside “worry time”. There may be an issue that is bothering you and that you need to sit down and think through. Schedule some time in which you’re going to think about the issue and then put it out of your mind until then.

27. Keep in mind that we tend to overestimate how likely it is that something bad will happen. We also tend to overestimate how bad things will be if something negative does happen.

28. Talk to yourself in the way in which you would talk to someone you really care about and respect.

29. Identify your greatest strengths, and then try to use these strengths in new ways.

30. Keep an “unhappiness log” so that you can keep track of things such as the following:

• Are there specific things or people that trigger emotions in you that are not conducive to happiness?
• Is there someone in particular who is constantly making you angry?
• Are there certain situations in which you become irritable and can easily become upset?  For example, if you’re hungry or haven’t had enough sleep.
• Is there a particular situation that creates anxiety or frustration in your life?

The aim of keeping an “unhappiness log” is to identify specific things that trigger anger, frustration, anxiety, and so on in you so that you can plan on how to deal with these situations before they happen.

31. Give in to temptation once in a while: eat that chocolate sundae (with whipped cream, nuts, and a cherry on top), splurge on a day at the spa, or read the mystery novel instead of answering the 100th email.

32. Although it is important to “know thyself”—as Socrates advised—don’t take self-introspection to the level of navel-gazing. That’s just not conducive to happiness.  It’s just not. Positive psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihaly has this to say on the subject: “the habit of rumination that our narcissistic society encourages actually might make things worse”.

33. In the Mahabharata– one of the two major Sanskrit epics of ancient India –there is a passage which says “That person who lives in their own home, eats and lives simply and has no debt to anyone; they are truly happy in this world”.  Simplify!

34. Think of the saying: “It’s not where you stand but the direction in which you face.” If things aren’t going well for you, just think of where you would like to be and start taking baby steps to move in that direction.

35. Shift from a victim to a creator mentality.

36. Release negative feelings and emotions and allow the happiness that lies underneath those feelings to emerge.

37. As Charles Schulz would say, “Happiness is a side dish of French fries” and “Happiness is a warm puppy.”

Related Posts:

1. Harvard’s Most Popular Course: Tal Ben-Shahar On How to Be Happier
2. Srikumar Rao On Happiness – Four Exercises That Will Make You Happier
3. 65 Happiness Quotes
4. 75 Simple Pleasures – Enjoy the Little Things
5. Happiness Tips From the Dalai Lama

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Let’s be a little more grateful today.

Did you know that studies show that practicing gratitude can increase your happiness levels by about 25 percent? This fact was reported by Robert Emmons, PhD–one of the world’s foremost experts on gratitude– in his book, “Thanks! How the New Science of Gratitude Can Make You Happier”.

So, how can you bring more gratitude into your life? One way is by practicing gratitude exercises. In order to help you with this I put together a list of 22 gratitude exercises that will help you to bring more thankfulness, appreciation, and gratefulness to your life. Read through the list, choose the ones that appeal the most to you, and get started increasing your gratitude and boosting your happiness levels. After all, a little gratitude goes a long way.

1. Morning Coffee Gratitude. As I’ve written before, one of the best ways to start your day off right is to spend a few minutes thinking of all the things that you’re grateful for. If you’re worried about finding the time to do this, or finding a way to remember to give thanks each morning, tie your morning gratitude session to your morning cup of coffee.

While you’re having your first cup of coffee, sit back and think of the things that you’re thankful for. You can even start out by feeling gratitude for the following:

• The warmth of the coffee mug you’re holding;
• The aroma of the coffee;
• That first sip of coffee;
• The beautiful morning;
• The beginning of a new day full of promise;
• The quiet just before the day officially starts.

2. Grace Before Meals. Giving thanks before each meal recognizes all of the people whose hard work was necessary for you to have food on your table–everyone from the farmer who grew the food, the grocery store clerks who stocked the shelves at your local grocery store, and the person who cooked the meal.

It’s a moment to pause and be mindful, as well as feel blessed that you have all of the food and nourishment that you need.

But what if you’re not religious? Then say a Secular Grace. Here’s one example:

“For the meal we are about to eat,
for those that made it possible,
and for those with whom we are about to share it,
we are thankful.”

You can even write your own.

3. Things You Take For Granted. Imagine losing some of the things that you take for granted, such as your home, your ability to see or hear, your ability to walk, or anything that currently gives you comfort. Then imagine getting each of these things back, one by one, and consider how grateful you would be for each and every one.

4. Put Things in Perspective. Obviously, things won’t always go your way. However, gratitude isn’t an emotion that is reserved for those moments when you get what you want. When things go wrong you can use the power of gratitude to release some of the negative emotions that you may be feeling due to the failure or setback that you just experienced.

After a negative event put things in perspective by remembering that every difficulty carries within it the seeds of an equal or greater benefit. When faced with adversity, ask yourself the following questions:

• “What’s good about this?”
• “What can I learn from this?”
• “How can I benefit from this?”
• “Is there something about this situation that I can be grateful for?”

5. Gratitude Journal. The practice of keeping a gratitude journal was made famous by Sarah Ban Breathnach in her book, “Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy”.

Before going to bed each night, write a list of five things about that day for which you’re grateful. Some days you’ll have exciting things to write down, and some days you’ll be writing down simple joys. Here’s a quote from “Simple Abundance”:

“As the months pass and you fill your journal with blessings, an inner shift in your reality will occur. Soon you will be delighted to discover how content and hopeful you are feelings.”

6. Gratitude Letter. Sit down and write a letter to someone who has exerted a positive influence in your life but whom you have not properly thanked. This can be a teacher or a mentor from your past, a grandparent, or anyone else who helped you in some way.

The letter doesn’t have to be long, but make sure that you’re specific about what the person did and how it affected you.

7. Gratitude Visit. Some experts recommend that you take the gratitude letter a step further: instead of mailing the letter, visit the person to whom the letter is addressed and read them the letter in person.

8. Gratitude Charm Bracelet. Get yourself a charm bracelet and choose charms or trinkets that are meaningful to you. For example, you could have the following charms:

• A heart to symbolize your significant other;
• Figurines to represent different family members;
• An apple to represent health;
• A dollar sign to symbolize financial serenity;
• A charm that represents your current profession; and
• A charm that makes you laugh to represent humor and joy.

Each time that you see your charm bracelet you’ll be reminded of how much you have to be grateful for.

9. Gratitude Stroll. Go for a walk and see how many positive things you can find: the smell of freshly baked bread coming from the bakery, flowers growing on a window sill, a cloudless sky . . .

10. Gratitude Trigger. Place an object somewhere in your house or workspace which will remind you to feel grateful each time that you look at it. It can be a little sign that says “Thank You” hanging in front of your desk, or a door mat with the word “Welcome” written on it to remind you to be grateful each time that you arrive at home.

11. Gratitude Partner. Find someone, it can be a friend or a family member, and share what you’re grateful for with each other. You can feed off of each others’ ideas. In addition, if the other person knows you well they can remind you of things you may be leaving out or things you’ve forgotten.

12. Rampage of Appreciation. This is an exercise recommended by Abraham-Hicks. Here’s an explanation of the exercise:

“Begin by looking around your immediate environment and gently noticing something that pleases you. Try to hold your attention on this pleasing object as you consider how wonderful, beautiful, or useful it is. And as you focus upon it longer, your positive feelings about it will increase.

Now, notice your improved feeling, and be appreciative of the way you feel. Then, once your good feeling is noticeably stronger than when you began, look around your environment and choose another pleasing object for your positive attention.”

13. Through the Eyes of Another. Sometimes we get so used to the good things in our life that we stop feeling appreciation for them. In that case, find a way to see the things, people, and places that you love through the eyes of another. For example, do the following with a friend:

• Take them to your favorite coffee shop;
• Lend them your favorite book or take them  to see your favorite movie;
• Show off a collection that you’re proud of;
• Introduce them to your significant other; and so on.

This will allow you to see the ordinary details of your life through the eyes of another, giving you a fresh perspective and rekindling your appreciation for these things.

14. Gratitude for Gadgets and Tools. Take a moment to think of all the gadgets and tools which make your life easier and more enjoyable. Include your laptop computer, your coffee maker, your TV, your juicer, your refrigerator, and so on.

Allow yourself to appreciate and feel gratitude toward all those people who made it possible for these gadgets and tools to be in your home, making your life so much more convenient.

15. Thankful Tree. This is a great exercise for Thanksgiving. Here are the instructions:

• Arrange tree branches in a colorful planter.
• Cut out paper leaves in different colors, shapes, and sizes.
• Place the leaves in a bowl, along with magic markers, and put the bowl next to the tree branches.
• Have each guest pick a leaf, write down something that they’re grateful for on it, and hang the leaf from the tree branches.

16. Four Questions. A great way to bring things that you’re grateful for to the forefront of your mind is by asking yourself questions.  At the end of each day, ask yourself the following four questions:

• What touched me today?
• Who or what inspired me today?
• What made me smile today?
• What’s the best thing that happened today?

17. Gratitude Lookout. Decide on a day during which you’re going to be on the lookout for people you can thank. Actively watch for things that others do that are helpful, kind, and considerate. Be generous with your “thank yous”.

18. Gratitude Inventory. Create a list of 100 things that you’re grateful for. If it helps, divide your list into different categories, such as assets (things you own), people (your relationships), qualities (personal qualities and character traits), experiences (place you’ve visited and things you’ve done), and so on.

Here’s a collection of prompts to help you create a list of 100 things you’re grateful for.

19. 365 Thank You Notes. In my post, How Gratitude Can Change Your Life –  The Power of “Thank You“, I wrote about a man named John Kralik who felt that everything was going wrong in his life. That’s when he decided to set a New Year’s resolution of writing 365 thank you notes, one for each day of the year.

He spent the entire year looking for people he could thank, including the barista at Starbucks, his daughter’s teacher, the people at his office, and so on. By the end of the year he discovered that this gratitude exercise had transformed his life.

20. Going Around the Table. This is another great exercise for Thanksgiving. I wrote about it in my post Family Rituals and Traditions – Add Joy, Beauty, and Connection to Your Life. When setting the Thanksgiving table, place an index card and pen at each place setting. Here are the instructions for this exercise:

• Each person writes the name of the person to their left at the top of the card, and then writes something about that person for which they are thankful.
•  The card is passed to the right so the next person can add to the list.
• Eventually, each card will make its way around the table. Take turns reading the thank-you cards aloud after the meal.

21. Appreciation Chair. This is another exercise which you can use on Thanksgiving. Pick a chair and designate it as “the Appreciation Chair”. Each family member takes a turn sitting on it. Then, everyone else tells that person why they appreciate them and expresses their gratitude for any kindness that was shown during the year, any help that was given, and so on.

22. Ungrateful Thought. Acknowledge one ungrateful thought per day, and transform it into a grateful one. Here’s an example from my own life:

• Ungrateful Thought: My sister spoke harshly to me today for absolutely no reason. I know that she’s under a lot of stress, but I was over at her house helping to take care of her kids. I don’t deserve for her to treat me like that.

• Grateful Thought: My sister is there for me when I need her. I know that I can count on her. I’m lucky to have her as a sister.

Conclusion

Which of these gratitude exercises do you plan on using? Do you know of any other gratitude exercises? Allow the power of gratitude to enter your life and change your life for the better.

Read Next: 8 Ways to Practice Gratitude to Boost Your Wellbeing

Related Posts:

• 100 Things to Be Grateful For – Prompts for Giving Thanks
• 40 More Quotes of Gratitude and Thanksgiving
• How Gratitude Can Change Your Life: The Power of “Thank You”
• 8 Ways to Practice Gratitude to Boost Your Wellbeing

“Do we have a shortage of time? No, we don’t. Time is the medium in which we exist. To complain about a shortage of time is like a fish in the sea complaining that it has a shortage of water.” — Mark Forster

Mark Forster is an internationally recognized time-management expert. In his book, “Do It Tomorrow and Other Secrets of Time Management”, he teaches us how to get things done by–among other things– “doing it tomorrow”. In this blog post you’ll discover several of the time management strategies and techniques which Forster recommends.

Three Possible Causes of Time Problems

Forster explains that there are only three possible causes of time problems. These are the following:

1. You’re working inefficiently.
2. You have too much work to do.
3. You have too little time in which to do your work.

Forster than goes on to explain why none of these are time problems; instead, they’re problems in how you’re managing yourself.

The first reason that you may not have enough time to do what needs to be done is that you’re working inefficiently. That is, you’re working in a distracted, unfocused, and fragmented way. Your problem, then, is not time, but your work habits. Although you can’t create more time, you can improve your work habits.

The second reason that you may be complaining about a lack of time is that you have too much to do. Work comes from the commitments that you’ve taken on. If you have too much on your plate, then you’ve taken on more commitments than you can handle.  The solution to this is two-fold:

• Go through your commitments and eliminate those which are not a priority for you.
• Before you take on a new commitment you need to understand that you’re going to have to make time for it by letting go of a previous commitment.

The third reason that you may feel that time is a problem for you is that you keep telling yourself that you don’t have enough time. Not having enough time is about over-scheduling. That is, it’s about the following:

• Failing to take into account things such as travel time;
• Underestimating how long it will take you to complete a task;
• Leaving out steps that you must take in order to complete a project, and so on.

When you decide how many commitments to take on, you have to make sure that you’re being realistic about how much time it’s going to take you to fulfill each commitment.

Seven Principles of Good Time Management

Forster then goes on to explain the following seven principles of time management:

• Have a clear vision to bring clarity and focus to everything you do. Your vision allows you to decide what to do, as much as it helps you to decide what not to do. That is, your vision will allow you to decide which commitments to take on and which commitments to say “no” to.

• Do one thing at a time. Establishing limits is an important way to get things done, and one essential limit is to do one thing at a time. Forster explains that most unsuccessful people don’t sit around doing nothing all day; instead, they try to do so many things at once that they never get anything done. It’s much more effective to focus on one task, and when you’re done, move on to the next.

• Little and often. It is more effective to exercise five times a week for half an hour each day than it is to do nothing for two weeks and then exercise for four hours. At the same time, it’s more effective to work on a report for a couple of hours each day than it is to leave it all for the weekend before it’s due.

• Define your limits. We’ve already discussed setting the limit of doing one thing at a time. Another limit is to work on clearly defined goals with clearly defined boundaries. Still another is to give yourself a definite period of time in which to complete tasks instead of leaving it open-ended. There are many ways in which you can set limits to make sure that you get things done.

• Create closed lists. A closed list is any list that has a line drawn on the bottom so that nothing more can be added to it. For example, your to-do list for the day should be a closed list. Once you’ve created your to-do list for the day, don’t add anything new to it. If something new comes in during the day, unless it must be done immediately or there will be a significant downside, leave it for another day.

• Reduce random factors. Interruptions, or random factors, are the main reason why people don’t complete their work during the day. Although you can’t get rid of all random factors, the goal is to eliminate as many of them as possible.

• Commitment v. Interest. Forster explains that there’s no limit to the amount of things that you can be interested in. However, nothing much is likely to come out of an interest unless it turns into a commitment. Go through the things that you’re interested in doing and identify which of those rise to the level of commitments.

Conclusion

Foster’s basic message is that while there isn’t enough time to do it all, there is more than enough time to do those things that are most important to you. In addition, one of the best ways to get things done is by setting limits:

• Set limits on the amount of commitments that you take on;
• Do one thing at a time;
• Create closed lists;
• Limit interruptions; and so on.

Follow the tips above and get started taking the necessary steps in order to live your best life.

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Boosting your self-esteem is one of the best things that you can do in order to stop limiting yourself. Here are some of the ways in which you may be allowing low self-esteem to stop you from living your best life:

• You stay at a low paying job which you don’t enjoy because you keep telling yourself that you can’t do any better.
• You remain in relationships with people who are constantly criticizing and belittling you because you believe that what they’re saying is true.
• You want to learn a new skill but you keep postponing getting started because you’re sure that you’ll fail.

You can release these self-limits, so that you can go after what you really want in life, by increasing your self-esteem. Below you’ll find three superb exercises for boosting your self-esteem.

Create a “Positive Qualities Record”

The first exercise for boosting your self-esteem involves creating a “Positive Qualities Record”. That is, you’re going to write down all the things that are good about you. To help you make a list of your positive qualities, ask yourself the following questions:

• What do I like about who I am?
• What characteristics do I have that are positive?
• What are some of my achievements? What qualities allowed me to achieve these things?
• What are some challenges that I’ve overcome? What qualities do I have which allowed me to overcome these challenges?
• What are some skills or talents that I have?
• What do others say they like about me?
• Who is someone I admire? What attributes do they have? Which of those attributes do I also have?
• How would someone who cares about me describe me?

Look at your answers to the questions above and then make a list of all of your positive attributes. Some of the things on your list could be the following:

• Appreciative
• Adaptable
• Caring
• Charitable
• Cheerful
• Considerate
• Creative
• Cooperative
• Curious
• Determined
• Easy-Going
• Honest
• Resourceful
• Responsible
• Good listener
• Friendly
• Forgiving
• Persistent
• Organized
• Self-Controlled
• Good sense of humor
• Dependable
• Original
• Intelligent
• Kind
• Fun

Now you’re going to recall specific examples in the past when you demonstrated each of the positive qualities which you wrote down on your list. For each positive quality on your list, write down three examples. As an illustration, if you wrote down that you’re considerate, you could write down the following three things as examples:

1. When my friend got sick last month I took over a lasagna for her family’s dinner.
2. When my brother was down on his luck last year I lent him the money that he needed to pay his rent.
3. Last week I helped my colleague with his presentation since he doesn’t know how to use Power Point very well, and I’m great at creating Power Point presentations.

In addition, start a journal in which you write down at the end of each day what you did during the day, and the positive qualities that you demonstrated by doing these things. (This exercise was taken from here.)

Change Your Thinking Habits

Buddhism teaches that it doesn’t matter what is happening. What matters are the thoughts that you’re having about what is happening. A lot of the time low self-esteem stems not from the events that are taking place around you, but from your interpretation of those events. When something happens that makes you feel bad about yourself, challenge your interpretation of what just took place. That is, look for alternative thoughts. You can do this by asking yourself questions, such as the following:

• Am I only noticing the bad stuff?
• Am I filtering out the good stuff?
• Am I engaging in “mind reading”? Am I assuming that I know what others are thinking?
• Am I setting unrealistic expectations for myself? How can I make my expectations more realistic?
• How can I see this from a different perspective?
• Am I allowing my inner bully to trip me up? How can I reframe what my inner bully is saying so that it’s constructive criticism which I can use to improve?
• Am I exaggerating the good aspects of others?
• Am I belittling my own positive aspects?
• What assumptions am I making? How can I be sure that these assumptions are true? What experiment can I carry out in order to test my assumptions?

Your feelings about yourself are at the core of your self-esteem. In addition, these feelings are a reaction to the thoughts that you have about the events that are taking place around you. Whenever you have a negative feeling about yourself, question the thoughts that led to those negative feelings; look for alternative thoughts by using the questions above.

Five Finger Exercise

This exercise is from the book, “The Self-Esteem Companion: Simple Exercises to Help You Challenge Your Inner Critic and Celebrate Your Personal Strengths”. It’s a simple exercise for elevating your mood when you’re feeling bad about yourself. Take the following steps:

1. Take a few deep breaths.

2. Allow yourself to feel relaxed and calm.

3. Touch your thumb to your index finger. Then, think of a time when you felt loved and cared for. For example, it could be a time when you got sick as a child and your mother took care of you all day.

4. Then, touch your thumb to your middle finger. Think back to a time when you felt successful. It might have been the time that you got the best grade on a test when you were in school, or the time you got a promotion at work.

5. Touch your thumb to your ring finger and remember a time when you did something important for someone else. For example, it could be the time that you took some of your Christmas money and you used it to buy a gift for a child who otherwise wouldn’t have received any presents.

6. Touch your thumb to your pinkie and think of a memory of really loving someone else. It could be a family member, a friend, or a romantic interest.

Practice this exercise whenever you need a quick reminder of how to feel good about yourself.

Conclusion

Practice the three exercises above and watch your self-esteem rise. After all, in order for you to do what must be done in order to live your best life you have truly believe that you’re worth it.

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The image above is a poster that I made (it was originally a blog post). If you’d like a copy of the poster, you can get it on Zazzle.

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I Recommend:

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What important task or project have you been procrastinating on? Whether it’s starting a blog, writing a novel, going back to school, decluttering your home, or starting an exercise program, my ebook, “Make It Happen! A Workbook for Overcoming Procrastination and Getting the Right Things Done”, will help you get started and see the task or project through to completion.

You can create a documentary, write a novel, simplify your life, start your own business, become a millionaire, or achieve any of your dreams in just one hour a day. My ebook “The One-Hour-A-Day Formula – How to Achieve Your Dreams In Just One Hour a Day” will show you how.

 

Imagine waking up each morning to a life that’s centered around your life goals, instead of trying to fit what’s most important to you into the nooks and crannies. “How To Live Your Best Life- The Essential Guide for Creating and Achieving Your Life List” will show you how.

 

Many writers argue that the hardest part of writing is beginning. Others believe that ideas are easy, it’s in the execution of those ideas that the hard work really begins. So, just how do you go about facing an empty page, coaxing your ideas into the world of form, and steering the end result toward shore? You can start with my ebook, “350 Tips For Writers, From Writers”.

 

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Creating a bucket list–which is essentially a list of your life goals–is an affirmation of yourself, of your life, and of your ability to choose. Discover lots of ideas to choose from, covering ten different life areas (including finances, personal development, spirituality, travel, and more), in my ebook “Idea Book – 3500 Ideas For Your Bucket List”.

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Let go of the past and move on.

There’s an Arab proverb that states that you should write the bad things that happen to you in the sand, so that they can be easily erased from your memory. However, most of us engrave the bad things that happen to us in marble; therefore, our painful memories remain immortalized in our minds.

We walk around with our failures, our mistakes, our disappointments, and our hurts from the past shackled around our ankles, weighing us down.

In order to live fully in the present, and adequately plan for the future, we need to learn what we can from the painful memories of the past, and then let those memories go. Release the past, stand firmly in the present, and prepare to step confidently into the future. Below you’ll find 50 letting go of the past quotes so that you can let go and move on.

50 Letting Go Of the Past Quotes

1. “If people refuse to look at you in a new light and they can only see you for what you were, only see you for the mistakes you’ve made, if they don’t realize that you are not your mistakes, then they have to go.” – Steve Maraboli

2. “If you want to forget something or someone, never hate it, or never hate him/her. Everything and everyone that you hate is engraved upon your heart; if you want to let go of something, if you want to forget, you cannot hate.” – C. Joybell C.

3. “Renew, release, let go. Yesterday’s gone. There’s nothing you can do to bring it back. You can’t “should’ve” done something. You can only DO something. Renew yourself. Release that attachment. Today is a new day!” – Steve Maraboli

4. “Sometimes letting go is simply changing the labels you place on an event. Looking at the same event with fresh eyes.” ― Steve Maraboli

5. “When we think we have been hurt by someone in the past, we build up defenses to protect ourselves from being hurt in the future. So the fearful past causes a fearful future and the past and future become one. We cannot love when we feel fear…. When we release the fearful past and forgive everyone, we will experience total love and oneness with all.” ― Gerald G. Jampolsky

6. “I realise there’s something incredibly honest about trees in winter, how they’re experts at letting things go.” ― Jeffrey McDaniel

7. “Know that everything is in perfect order whether you understand it or not.” ― Valery Satterwhite

8. “Today expect something good to happen to you no matter what occurred yesterday.” – Sarah Ban Breathnach

9. “Think about any attachments that are depleting your emotional reserves. Consider letting them go.” – Oprah Winfrey

10. “When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.” – Alexander Graham Bell

11. “Hanging on to resentment is letting someone you despise live rent-free in your head.” – Ann Landers

12. “Suffering is not holding you. You are holding suffering. When you become good at the art of letting sufferings go, then you’ll come to realize how unnecessary it was for you to drag those burdens around with you. You’ll see that no one else other than you was responsible. The truth is that existence wants your life to become a festival.” ~ Osho

13. “Let go. Why do you cling to pain? There is nothing you can do about the wrongs of yesterday. It is not yours to judge. Why hold on to the very thing which keeps you from hope and love?” – Leo Buscaglia

14. “Asking ourselves, ‘Where am I right now?’ gives us a chance to step outside the internal dialogue for a moment of peace. Look around you, take a deep breath and notice what you see, hear and feel. Present moment awareness is the point of power and choice. It frees us from our compulsive thoughts.” – Laura Harvey

15. “The act of forgiveness is the act of returning to present time. And that’s why when one has become a forgiving person, and has managed to let go of the past, what they’ve really done is they’ve shifted their relationship with time.” – Caroline Myss

16. “Never regret yesterday. Life is in you today, and you make your tomorrow.” – L. Ron Hubbard

17. “Even though you may want to move forward in your life, you may have one foot on the brakes. In order to be free, we must learn how to let go. Release the hurt. Release the fear. Refuse to entertain your old pain. The energy it takes to hang onto the past is holding you back from a new life. What is it you would let go of today?” – Mary Manin Morrisse

18. “I don’t regret difficulties I experienced; I think they helped me to become the person I am today. I feel the way a warrior must feel after years of training; he doesn’t remember the details of everything he learned, but he knows how to strike when the time is right.” – Paolo Coelho

19. “Never let the past spoil your present or govern your future.” – Author Unknown

20. “When you understand,” Brandy says, “that what you’re telling is just a story. It isn’t happening anymore. When you realize the story you’re telling is just words, when you can just crumble up and throw your past in the trashcan,” Brandy says, “then we’ll figure out who you’re going to be.” ― Chuck Palahniuk, Invisible Monsters

21. “Take it from me: If you hear the past speaking to you, feel it tugging up your back and runing its fingers up your spine, the best thing to do-the only thing-is run.” ― Lauren Oliver, Delirium

22. ““The past can’t hurt you anymore, not unless you let it.” ― Alan Moore, V for Vendetta

23. “I pray that former rejection and deep hurts will not color what I see and hear now.” – Sue Augustine

24. “What’s done is done.” ― Hilliard MacBeth

25. “The past was always there, lived inside of you, and it helped to make you who you were. But it had to be placed in perspective. The past could not dominate the future.” ― Barbara Taylor Bradford, Unexpected Blessings

26. “You build on failure. You use it as a stepping stone. Close the door on the past. You don’t try to forget the mistakes, but you don’t dwell on it. You don’t let it have any of your energy, or any of your time, or any of your space.” – Johnny Cash

27. “Bring the past only if you are going to build from it.” – Doménico Cieri Estrada

28. “Never look back unless you are planning to go that way.” – Henry David Thoreau

29. “Right actions in the future are the best apologies for bad actions in the past.” – Tryon Edwards

30. “The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present.” – Barbara De Angelis

31. “Never regret- If it’s good, it’s wonderful.If it’s bad, it’s experience.” – Anonymous

32. “The past does not equal the future unless you live there.” – Tony Robbins

33. “Regret doesn’t remind us that we did badly, it reminds us that we know that we could do better.” – Kathryn Schultz

34. “You need to make a conscious choice every day to shed the old . . .” Sarah Ban Breathnach

35. “I use memories, but I will not allow memories to use me . . .” Deepak Chopra

36. “All the king’s horses and all the king’s men can’t put the past together again. So let’s remember: Don’t try to saw sawdust.” – Dale Carnegie

37. “If you’re still hanging onto a dead dream of yesterday, laying flowers on its grave by the hour, you cannot be planting the seeds for a new dream to grow today.” – Joyce Chapman

38. “We have to do with the past only as we can make it useful to the present and the future.” – Frederick Douglass

39. “Only by acceptance of the past can you alter it.” – T.S. Eliot

40. “A lot of people go through life like they are rowing a boat. They look at where they have been (the PAST) rather than where they are going (the FUTURE).” – Unknown Source

41. “It’s very expressive of myself. I just lump everything in a great heap which I have labeled the past, and, having thus emptied this deep reservoir that was once myself, I am ready to continue.” Unknown Source

42. “”Losers live in the past. Winners learn from the past and enjoy working in the present toward the future.” – Denis Waitley

43. “The past should be a learning experience not an everlasting punishment. What’s done is done.” – Unknown Source

44. “It’s no use going back to yesterday, because I was a different person then.” – Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

45. “You did then what you knew how to do, and when you knew better, you did better.” – Maya Angelou

46. “Your past history and all of your hurts are no longer here in your physical reality. Don’t allow them to be here in your mind, muddying your present moments. Your life is like a play with several acts. Some of the characters who enter have short roles to play, others, much longer. But all are necessary, otherwise they wouldn’t be in the play. Embrace them all, and move on to the next act.” – Wayne Dyer

47. “If you believe that feeling bad will change a past event, then you are residing on another planet with a different reality system.” – Wayne Dyer

48. “You can victimize yourself by wallowing around in your own past.” – Wayne Dyer

49. “The past has no power over the present moment.” ― Eckhart Tolle

50. “Stop being a prisoner of your past. Become the architect of your future.” – Robin Sharma

Read Next: 8 Ways to Release the Ghosts of the Past and Be Happy in the Present

Related Posts:

• 8 Ways to Release the Ghosts of the Past and Be Happy in the Present
• Five Powerful Ways to Forgive Those Who Have Wronged You
• Dealing With Life’s Challenges – Life Is Like a Game of Chutes and Ladders
• 67 Perseverance Quotes to Keep You Going

Did you enjoy this article? Subscribe to “Daring to Live Fully” by clicking here and get free updates.

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