Daring to Live Fully — Live the Length and Width of Your Life

How to Develop Your Character – Benjamin Franklin’s Thirteen Virtues

by Marelisa

Benjamin Franklin–one of the Founding Fathers of the United States of America–was an author, political theorist, scientist, musician, inventor, and the list goes on and on.

How was Franklin able to accomplish so much? The key to Franklin´s amazing success was his continuous pursuit of self-improvement.

In 1726, at the age of 20, Franklin set the following lofty goal for himself:

“It was about this time I conceived the bold and arduous project of arriving at moral perfection. I wished to live without committing any fault at any time; I would conquer all that either natural inclination, custom, or company might lead me into.”

That is, he resolved to always do right, and to avoid any wrongdoing. In order to accomplish his goal, Franklin came up with a list of 13 virtues which he would strive to live up to. In this post you’ll discover Franklin’s 13 virtues, the method that he used in order to adhere to these virtues, and a plan so that you can follow in Franklin’s footsteps.

The Thirteen Virtues

Franklin developed his list of 13 virtues based on the moral virtues he had come across in his readings. In addition, he wrote down a few words about each of the virtues in order to clarify the meaning he gave to each one.

Here’s a list of the 13 virtues which Franklin committed himself to:

1. “TEMPERANCE. Eat not to dullness; drink not to elevation.”

The first virtue selected by Franklin was not to overindulge in food or drink. Franklin writes that he selected temperance first because “it tends to procure that coolness and clearness of head which is so necessary where constant vigilance was to be kept up”.

2. “SILENCE. Speak not but what may benefit others or yourself; avoid trifling conversation.”

By adopting this virtue Franklin wished, first, to gain knowledge, which he noted one acquires by using the ears instead of the tongue. Second, he wanted to “break a habit I was getting into (of) prattling, punning, and joking, which only made me acceptable to trifling company”.

3. “ORDER. Let all your things have their places; let each part of your business have its time.”

By achieving order Franklin expected to be able to have more time for the pursuit of his studies and other projects. In addition, Franklin explains that the “precept of Order requires that every part of my business should have its allotted time“.

4. “RESOLUTION. Resolve to perform what you ought; perform without fail what you resolve.”

Here’s what Franklin has to say about the virtue of resolution: “Resolution, once habitual, would keep me firm in my endeavors to obtain all the subsequent virtues”. The virtue of resolution can be summed up as follows: if you say you’re going to do something, do it.

5. “FRUGALITY. Make no expense but to do good to others or yourself; i.e., waste nothing.”

6. “INDUSTRY. Lose no time; be always employ’d in something useful; cut off all unnecessary actions.”

Franklin explains his inclusion of frugality and industry in his list of virtues as follows:

“Frugality and Industry, freeing me from my remaining debt, and producing affluence and independence, would make more easy the practice of Sincerity and Justice, etc.”

In his autobiography Franklin explains that he owes the acquisition of his fortune to frugality and industry.

7. “SINCERITY. Use no hurtful deceit; think innocently and justly, and, if you speak, speak accordingly.”

8. “JUSTICE. Wrong none by doing injuries, or omitting the benefits that are your duty.”

9. “MODERATION. Avoid extremes; forbear resenting injuries so much as you think they deserve.”

10. “CLEANLINESS. Tolerate no uncleanliness in body, cloaths, or habitation.”

11. “TRANQUILLITY. Be not disturbed at trifles, or at accidents common or unavoidable.”

12. “CHASTITY. Rarely use venery but for health or offspring, never to dullness, weakness, or the injury of your own or another’s peace or reputation.”

13. “HUMILITY. Imitate Jesus and Socrates.”

Of the virtue of humility, Franklin writes the following:

“My list of virtues contained at first but twelve; but a Quaker friend having kindly informed me that I was generally thought proud, that my pride showed itself frequently in conversation, that I was not content with being in the right when discussing any point, but was overbearing and rather insolent, of which he convinced me by mentioning several instances, I determined endeavoring to cure myself, if I could, of this vice or folly among the rest, and I added Humility to my list, giving an extensive meaning to the word.”

The Methodology

Franklin wisely decided not to try to tackle all of the 13 virtues at once. Instead, he would concentrate on one at a time. Here’s the methodology that Franklin developed in order to attain mastery over the 13 virtues which he had selected:

“I made a little book, in which I allotted a page for each of the virtues.”
“I ruled each page with red ink, so as to have seven columns, one for each day of the week, marking each column with a letter for the day.”
“I crossed these columns with thirteen red lines, marking the beginning of each line with the first letter of one of the virtues, on which line, and in its proper column, I might mark, by a little black spot, every fault I found upon examination to have been committed respecting that virtue upon that day.”

In his autobiography Franklin includes the chart which he used:

Franklin then proceeded to do the following:

“I determined to give a week’s strict attention to each of the virtues successively.”
“Thus, in the first week, my great guard was to avoid every the least offense against Temperance, leaving the other virtues to their ordinary chance, only marking every evening the faults of the day.”
“Thus, if in the first week I could keep my first line, marked T, clear of spots, I supposed the habit of that virtue so much strengthened, and its opposite weakened, that I might venture extending my attention to include the next, and for the following week keep both lines clear of spots.”
“Proceeding thus to the last, I could go thro’ a course complete in thirteen weeks, and four courses in a year.”

Follow Franklin’s Example

Franklin was one of the first people to recognize that recording your behavior helps you to change it.In fact,he turned self-development into a science by observing, monitoring, and measuring his behavior.

If you would like to follow in Franklin’s footsteps, you can go ahead and download his chart of virtues here. Glue the chart to your day planner or to a notebook, and always carry it around with you, just like Franklin did. Instead of using a notebook, you can use your iPhone by downloading the Virtues App.

Conclusion

At the age of 79 Franklin wrote in his autobiography that he never did achieve his goal of attaining perfection. However, he did achieve the following:

“Tho’ I never arrived at the perfection I had been so ambitious of obtaining, but fell far short of it, yet I was, by the endeavour, a better and a happier man than I otherwise should have been if I had not attempted it.”

Live your best life by following Franklin’s example and adopting his 13 virtues. Or, better yet, come up with your own list of virtues. What virtues would you include in a “list of virtues”? Please share in the comments section below.

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35 Powerful Beliefs About Money: From Trump to the Dalai Lama

by Marelisa

Your beliefs about money are a key element in determining how much money you’ll be able to make, and how much of that money you’ll be able to keep. In order to help you create empowering beliefs about wealth, below you’ll find 35 beliefs about money from uber successful people, from Donald Trump to the Dalai Lama.

Rich Dad v. Poor Dad Mentality

The groundbreaking best-seller “Rich Dad Poor Dad”–written by Robert Kiyosaki–compares the mindset of Kiyosaki’s father-who held several degrees and an important position in the government, but struggled financially–, with the mindset of his best friend’s father-who never even finished high school but left his son a financial empire.

In his book, Kiyosaki explains that the mindset held by each of these two men, his “poor dad” and his “rich dad”, was largely responsible for each man’s financial destiny. Here are seven mayor differences between the “poor dad” and the “rich dad” mentality:

The “poor dad” mentality states that your wealth depends on your family of origin: to be rich, you have to be born rich. “Rich dad” espoused the view that being rich or poor is something that you learn. When you have the right belief system and you acquire the necessary knowledge on how to create, build, and protect wealth, you will become rich even if you were not born into a wealthy family.

“Rich dad” taught Kiyosaki that he should get a job to learn and to acquire the necessary skills so that he could go on to start his own business. “Poor dad” saw his job as his source of income for life. While “rich dad” taught Kiyosaki to strive to become financially independent, “poor dad” taught him to depend on his employer for his financial well being.

When faced with an opportunity, “rich dad” would ask himself: “How can I afford this?” This forced his mind to think and to come up with creative solutions to be able to take advantage of the opportunity that had presented itself. Instead, when presented with an opportunity, “poor dad” would dismiss it by saying: “It’s too bad I can’t afford this.”

While “poor dad” stressed scholastic education, “rich dad” always stressed financial education.

For “rich dad” the main cause of poverty or financial struggle was self-inflicted fear and ignorance. “Poor dad” blamed the economy and the job market. That is, “rich dad” always took responsibility for himself and felt that he created his circumstances, while “poor dad” often felt like a victim of the outside world.

As for risk taking, “rich dad” taught Kiyosaki to learn to manage risk. “Poor dad” taught him that when it came to money, risk was something that should be avoided and to always play it safe.

“Rich dad” taught Kiyosaki that failing was simply part of the process and that he should learn from his mistakes and move on. “Poor dad” attached great stigma to failure and was therefore afraid of making mistakes.

(Image of Kiyosaki taken from here.)

The Dalai Lama: Money is Good

Some people hold the belief that being economically successful is somehow not spiritual, and that it’s wrong to care about money. The Dalai Lama puts inner peace, health, and relationships before money; however, he considers money to be important. Here’s the Dalai Lama’s belief about money:

“Money is good. It is important. Without money, daily survival — not to mention further development — is impossible. So we are not even questioning its importance. At the same time, it is wrong to consider money a god or a substance endowed with some power of its own. To think that money is everything, and that just by having lots of it all our problems will be solved is a serious mistake.” (Source).

Donald Trump: Money is Simply a Measurement of How Well You Play the Game

Donald Trump is an American business magnate and real estate developer. He’s famous both for his wealth and for his outspoken manner.

In the early 1990s his financial problems and creditor-led bailout were widely publicized. I recall having read an anecdote about Trump during this time. Trump was walking down the street with a friend and he pointed to a beggar sitting on the sidewalk. He told his friend, “That man has a higher net worth than I do”.

The late 1990s saw a resurgence in Trump’s financial situation. Today, Trump is on the Forbes’ list of billionaires for 2013, with a net worth of $3.2 billion.

To Trump, money is but “a scorecard that tells me I’ve won and by how much,” he says. “The real excitement is playing the game.” Trump is doing what he loves to do, and he’s having fun with it. This mentality is what has allowed him to amass billions, and what helped him to dig himself out of the hole he was in two decades ago.

Warren Buffett: The Importance of Self-Confidence

Warren Buffett is one of the most successful investors in the world, and is often referred to as “The Oracle of Omaha”. He’s one of the world’s five richest people. According to Buffett, having confidence in yourself is a key element in acquiring wealth. He once said the following: “I always knew I was going to be rich. I don’t think I ever doubted it for a minute.”

Jack Canfield on the Decision to Be Rich

Jack Canfield is best known as the co-creator of the “Chicken Soup for the Soul” book series. This is what he has to say about the decision to be rich:

You have to make the decision to be rich. If you don’t make that decision, your unconscious mind won’t work on trying to make it happen.
Once you’ve made that decision, every morning and every night you need to visualize the rich lifestyle that you want to lead. What this does is program your unconscious mind to come up with solutions and to notice opportunities and resources in your environment that you would have otherwise missed.
The third thing you want to do is to learn how to become rich by reading, attending seminars and lectures, and so on.
Finally, find a way to get into the sphere of influence of people who are already wealthy. You want to be around those people in order to learn to think like them. (Source).

Mastering the Inner Game of Wealth: T. Harv Eker

The following quote by T. Harv Eker, author of “Secrets of the Millionaire Mind”, refers to the concept of a rich person’s mindset: “Rich people have a way of thinking that is different from poor and middle class people. They think differently about money, wealth, themselves, other people, and life.”

Here are 17 ways in which rich people think differently from the poor and middle class:

Rich people believe “I create my life.” Poor people believe, “Life happens to me.”
Rich people play the money game to win. Poor people play the money game to not lose.
Rich people are committed to being rich. Poor people want to be rich.
Rich people think big. Poor people think small.
Rich people focus on opportunities. Poor people focus on obstacles.
Rich people admire other rich and successful people. Poor people resent rich and successful people.
Rich people associate with positive, successful people. Poor people associate with negative or unsuccessful people.
Rich people are willing to promote themselves and their value. Poor people think negatively about selling and promotion.
Rich people are bigger than their problems. Poor people are smaller than their problems.
Rich people are excellent receivers. Poor people are poor receivers.
Rich people choose to get paid based on results. Poor people choose to get paid based on time.
Rich people think “both.” Poor people think “either/or.”
Rich people focus on their net worth. Poor people focus on their working income.
Rich people manage their money well. Poor people mismanage their money well.
Rich people have their money work hard for them. Poor people work hard for their money.
Rich people act in spite of fear. Poor people let fear stop them.
Rich people constantly learn and grow. Poor people think they already know.

Steve Pavlina – Creating Abundance

Steve Pavlina is the owner of the popular blog “Personal Development for Smart People”. In 2009 he recorded four YouTube videos in which he discusses how to create abundance. Here are some of the things he has to say in his videos:

If you want to create a feeling of abundance, you can do so no matter where you currently are financially. Steve shares that ten years ago he was $150,000.00 in debt. He had a negative cash flow, was about to declare bankruptcy, and was going to get kicked out of his apartment because he couldn’t pay the rent. Nonetheless, he was able to create abundance even from that starting point.
He adds that instead of having an abundance mindset, what you need to have is an abundance heartset. It’s more of a feeling instead of a thought. Ask yourself: “If I already had everything I wanted, how would I feel about reality?” You would probably feel lucky, grateful, and fortunate. Those are the feelings you want to focus on.
Feeling like you can create what you want is abundance. Feeling that you can’t create what you want is scarcity.
Disconnecting from the things in your old reality and connecting with the things in your new reality–such as taking advantage of new business opportunities–will require courage. You’re going to have to move out of your current comfort zone and act in order to embrace new opportunities.

Conclusion

What are your money beliefs? Are they serving you well? If your money beliefs are not serving you well, go ahead and change them. You can start by adopting some of the money beliefs you just read about above. Live your best life by adopting powerful beliefs about money.

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A Happiness Lesson From Frasier Crane

by Marelisa

Yesterday I was re-watching an episode of the now-canceled TV series, “Frasier”, which is about noted Seattle radio-psychologist Frasier Crane.

Both Frasier and his brother, Niles, are fastidious, snobby, and fussy, with gourmet tastes. They’re obsessed with knowing the right people and climbing up the social ladder (yet they’re both very likable).

In their eternal quest to move up in life, Frasier and Niles sometimes forget that they also need to stop to enjoy and appreciate the here and now. In Episode 11 of Season 10, titled “The Door”, the brothers learn the consequences of always chasing after the proverbial carrot. Read what happens below.

The Allure of Exclusivity

At the start of the episode, Frasier is standing in the living room of his apartment with his dad and with Niles. He’s holding a letter meant for one of his neighbors, Cam Winston, which was delivered to Frasier by mistake. Curiosity gets the better of him and Frasier opens the letter.

He discovers that it’s an invitation to a place called “La Porte D’Argent”, which neither he nor Niles has heard of. In Frasier’s own words, “Yes, but that’s what’s so intriguing, Dad, that there exists an exclusive place in Seattle that neither of us knows about.”

Frasier and Niles decide to go down to “La Porte D’Argent” to see what it is. Frasier arrives first, but the receptionist won’t let him in because he’s not “on the list”. When Niles walks in, Frasier calls him Cam Winston—whose name is on the list—so they’re both allowed in. They discover that ‘La Porte D’Argent’ is an exclusive day spa.

The Silver Level

Once they’re finally allowed into “La Porte D’Argent”, Frasier and Niles are given a folder containing a description of the spa’s services. They sit down to look through the list of treatments that are available and are thrilled by their choices.

After they’ve been rubbed and scrubbed, the brothers are ecstatic and are singing the spa’s praises:

Niles: I knew it was going to be good, but I had no idea it would be this good! I feel like I’ve been rubbed by angels.

Frasier: Niles, I just wish you had tried the vusattasen aqua-treatment. I feel as if I’d had a re-birthing experience. I’ve never felt better in my life.

Niles: I’m so polished my entire body is squeaking.

That’s when an elderly gentleman whom they recognize as Senator Ogden walks by, and passes through a gold door which the brothers hadn’t previously noticed.

Frasier remarks to Niles: “Oh, Niles, this just gets better and better. Balanced skin and social advancement all in one setting.” However, when the brothers try to follow Senator Ogden, they’re denied access to the area behind the gold door.

The aesthetician lets them know that only “gold level members” have access to the gold door:

Clerk: I’m sorry. That area is restricted to our gold level members.

Niles: You have a gold level? How do you get in?

Clerk: You’d have to be on the list.

Frasier: Well, we ARE on the list.

Clerk: The GOLD list.

Frasier: This is absurd! I am a member of every exclusive club in this entire town. You must have a reciprocal membership with one of them.

Clerk: I’m sorry. But you’re more than welcome to enjoy the many
amenities of the silver level.

Frasier: And just how are we supposed to enjoy this!?

In one fell swoop what they had been referring to as “Nirvana” just a few minutes earlier turns into a “hell hole”, because they discovered that there was a gold level which they couldn’t enter. When the brothers arrive at Frasier’s apartment and their dad asks them how the spa was, here’s Frasier’s answer:

Frasier: It was a hell-hole! They had the nerve to call it a day spa, when it’s nothing more than a mere front for a bona fide luxury spa which taunts those kept at bay outside its golden door!

Frasier’s Dad: If you didn’t go in, how do you know it’s better?

Frasier: It had to be! The door was gold, ours was only silver. Gold is better than silver.

Both Frasier and Niles comb through their Rolodexes trying to find someone who can gain them access to the gold level at “La Porte D’Argent”, but with no luck. They’re discussing their plight at Café Nervosa in front of Frasier’s producer, Roz. Here’s what Roz tells them:

“It’s a spa! How much better could it be? I mean, are they gonna carry you around like a sultan? You gonna be massaged by supermodels? And what if you do get through the gold door? What next, the diamond door? And after that a titanium door! And after that a plutonium door!”

The brothers roll their eyes and scoff at Roz’s naiveté as they continue plotting how to get into the elusive gold level.

The Gold Level

It turns out that Roz knows Senator Ogden, who owes her a favor, and she gets Frasier and Niles on the gold level list. Frasier and Niles return to “La Porte D’Argent” and get their “gold level” treatments.

After his treatment, Niles is lying on a gurney wrapped up like a mummy. He has a facial and cucumber slices on his eyes. The attendant lets him know that he’s in the relaxation grotto, which is a plant-filled room with the sounds of the Javanese rainforest playing in the background, and that he’ll stay there while his wrap and mask set.

Just then, Frasier shuffles into the relaxation grotto in a robe. He’s blinking as his eyes adjust from the color-therapy treatment he just received. Frasier tells Niles how beautiful the relaxation grotto is, and Niles asks him to describe it.

Frasier describes the relaxation grotto to Niles as follows: “Well, it’s just paradise. From the rare exotic orchids, to the trompe l’oeil sky, to the perfectly bubbled stream, to the …” And that’s when Frasier sees it: there’s a Platinum Door.

Here’s the conversation that takes place between Frasier and Niles upon this discovery:

Niles: Platinum? Are you sure?

Frasier: Yes!

Niles: Is it guarded?

Frasier: No! It’s just brazenly standing there!

Niles: Then rip the cucumbers from my eyes and let’s go!

Frasier: Right!

[He takes the slices off Niles' eyes and helps him sit up.]

Frasier: Niles! What are we doing? This is exactly what Roz said! This is heaven, right here and now! Why do we have to think about someplace else?

Niles: This is only heaven to the people that can’t get into the real heaven. The platinum heaven.

Frasier: Niles, why can’t we be happy? Why must we allow the thought of something that at this point can only be incrementally better ruin what is here and now?

Niles: I don’t know. Let’s figure it out on the other side!

Frasier: No! I am through chasing the eternal carrot. Whatever is behind that door shall remain behind that door, unseen!

The Platinum Door (or The Dumpster)

Despite Frasier’s objections, Niles is adamant to see what’s on the other side of the Platinum Door. He manages to get himself off the gurney, but since he’s wrapped up he can only shuffle forward a few inches at a time. Frasier folds and decides to help Niles to the Platinum Door and to “take a peek”.

They manage to get to the Platinum Door, they open it, and they walk through. As the door shuts and locks itself behind them, the brothers realize that they’ve walked out into an alley, and that they’re standing next to the trash dumpster. They desperately start knocking on the door trying to get back into the spa, but no one hears them.

Conclusion

Sitcoms exaggerate because they have to make their point in half-an-hour. However, the lesson from this episode of Frasier is this: you’ll never be happy if your happiness depends on always achieving the next milestone, and always “walking through the next door”.

One of life’s great paradoxes is the following: you should strive to build a better life for yourself, while understanding that the greenest grass is right underneath your feet.

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Know Thyself! Use the Proust Questionnaire

by Marelisa

During the 19th century, French essayist and novelist Marcel Proust–the author of “Remembrance of Things Past”–popularized a parlor game which involved filling out a questionnaire meant to reveal a person’s true nature. Since then, thousands of people have answered this questionnaire.

For many years the magazine Vanity Fair published the so-called Proust Questionnaire at the end of every issue, each time filled out by a different celebrity. In fact, the magazine’s editor gathered the best ones in a book titled, “Vanity Fair’s Proust Questionnaire: 101 Luminaries Ponder Love, Death, Happiness, and the Meaning of Life”.

Follow in the footsteps of Marcel Proust, Bette Midler, Lauren Bacall, Norman Mailer, Martin Scorsese, Aretha Franklin, and many others (including President Obama and the First Lady) by filling out the Proust Questionnaire.

Here it is (I found the questionnaire on the blog Fierce Authenticity):

What is your idea of perfect happiness?

What is your greatest fear?

Which historical figure do you most identify with?

Which living person do you most admire?

What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?

What is the trait you most deplore in others?

What is your greatest extravagance?

What is your favorite journey?

What do you consider the most overrated virtue?

On what occasion do you lie?

What do you dislike the most about your appearance?

Which living person do you most despise?

Which words or phrases do you most overuse?

What is your greatest regret?

What or who is the greatest love of your life?

When and where were you happiest?

Which talent would you most like to have?

What is your current state of mind?

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

If you could change one thing about your family, what would it be?

What do you consider your greatest achievement?

If you were to die and come back as a person or thing, what do you think it would be?

What is your most treasured possession?

What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?

Where would you like to live?

What is your favorite occupation?

What is your most marked characteristic?

What is the quality you most like in a man?

What is the quality you most like in a woman?

What do you most value in your friends?

Who are your favorite writers?

Who is your favorite hero of fiction?

Who are your heroes in real life?

What are your favorite names?

What is it that you most dislike?

How would you like to die?

What is your favorite motto?

And here’s a question from me: What’s on your bucket list?

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How to Level Up In Life – Turn Your Life Into a Game

by Marelisa

Gamification is the new buzzword. But it’s much more than just a passing trend.

After all, if you can make something fun and include elements of play in it, you’ll be much more likely to be able to muster up the motivation to get it done. And that’s what gamification is all about.

When you’re playing a game you usually start at Level One. You’re a newbie, a beginner, a rookie . . . Then, as you take certain actions, you accumulate points. Once you have enough points, you move up to the next level. That is, you level up. You move up–from level to level– and, eventually, you move all the way up to the top level.

As an example, I create content for a site called Squidoo. Some months back Squidoo added several elements of gamification to their site in order to make it stickier (encourage users to spend more time on the site). Here are some of the things that you can do in order to “level up” on Squidoo:

Create new lenses.
Visit other lenses and leave comments.
Participate in quests.
Add your input to polls.
Take quizzes.

Every time you take one of the actions listed above, you get points. Once you have enough points, you move up a level. As you level up you get rewards, such as the following:

You get access to more modules;
You increase your opportunities of being awarded a Purple Star;
You get Squidoo badges and trophies;
You get access to a newsletter that offers helpful tips;
You get a wider variety of templates to choose from, and so on.

You can improve your life by using this same system of leveling up. Continue reading below to find out how.

Step One – Identify Your Current Level

Suppose that you’re depressed and seriously overweight. If that’s your current situation, you’re at Level One for the life areas of both physical fitness and emotional well-being.

That’s OK. This doesn’t mean that you’re going to lose the game. It just means that right now–in those two areas of your life–you’re at the ground level. Now you just have to start working your way up the different game levels.

Step Two – Don’t Compare Yourself to Those Who Are At Level Ten

You’re sitting by the pool wearing a t-shirt and shorts because you’re too embarrassed to be seen in a bathing suit. After all, you haven’t been to the gym in months and you’ve been overindulging in chocolates and pastries. And, boy, does it show.

There’s a woman sitting across the pool from you wearing a bikini. She has what appears to be zero-fat, and a perfectly toned body. Let’s face it: in terms of physical fitness you’re at Level One and she’s at Level Ten.

Do you know why she’s at Level Ten? Because while you’re having a doughnut for breakfast, she’s having oatmeal. And while you’re sitting on the couch channel surfing, she’s out jogging. To sum it up, she’s at Level Ten because she’s taken the action necessary to get there. And you haven’t.

The good news is that if you start taking action to level up, you can also reach Level Ten. Eventually.

Step Three – You Can’t Leap From Level One to Level Ten

Remember that for the purposes of our example, you’re depressed. That is, you’re at Level One for emotional well-being. Level Ten in terms of emotional well-being is feeling bliss.

Can you move from being depressed to feeling bliss in one fell swoop? No, of course not. You need to move through many levels before you can go from being depressed to feeling bliss.

The levels from depression to bliss look something like the following:

Level One – Depressed
Level Two – Discouraged
Level Three – Worried
Level Four – Frustrated/Irritated
Level Five – Bored
Level Six – Content
Level Seven – Hopeful/Optimistic
Level Eight – Happy
Level Nine – Passionate
Level Ten – Blissful

You shouldn’t ask yourself how to move from Level One to Level Ten. Instead, ask yourself how to move from Level One to Level Two. Then, ask yourself how to move from Level Two to Level Three, from Level Three to Level Four, and so and so forth. You just keep leveling up until you get to Level Ten.

At each level the question becomes: “How do I move on to the next level?”

Step Four – Identify What the Next Level Looks Like

Let’s go back to our example in which you’re seriously overweight. You’ve already accepted that in terms of physical fitness you’re currently at Level One. Now, what does Level Two look like? You could decide that you’ll know that you’ve reached Level Two when you’ve achieved the following:

You’ve lost 20 pounds.
You’ve lost three inches from around your waist.
You’ve gone down two dress sizes.

Now that you know what Level Two looks like, you have to identify how you’re going to get there.

Step Five – Identify the Action You Need to Take To Level Up

Again, you’re at Level One in terms of physical fitness. You weigh 250 pounds and everything jiggles when you move. What action can you take in order to move up to Level Two? Here are some ideas:

Start walking 20 minutes a day.
Start keeping a food log.
Switch from white bread to whole wheat bread.
Switch from regular milk to skim milk.
Instead of adding a pack of sugar to your coffee, add half a pack.
Drink more water.
Have desert after dinner once a week, instead of every day.

However, remember that this is a game. Look for ways to make the action that you need to take in order to level up as fun as possible.

For example, there’s an app that you can download called “Zombies, Run!” which turns your daily run (or walk) into a virtual flee-for-your-life adventure. Each time that you go out for a walk or a run, you’re given a mission. You have to complete your mission without being caught by zombies.

If you want to drink more water, get yourself a funky glass. You can also try adding something interesting to your water, like strawberries, orange slices, or cucumber slices. Tell yourself that your morning cup of coffee is your reward for drinking 8 ounces of water as soon you wake up.

Turn the actions that you need to take in order to level up into a game.

Step Six – Act

Obviously, you gain absolutely nothing by making a list of the things that you need to do in order to level up, and then failing to take action. Once you’ve identified what you need to do, do it!

Step Seven – Reward Yourself

One of the best parts of leveling up is that you get a reward. Of course, losing 20 pounds is a great reward in and of itself! However, it helps if you give yourself a little something extra. In addition, make the reward related to the game that you’re playing.

As an illustration, when you reach Level Two you could get yourself a piece of equipment that you can use to help you with your workouts. Here are some examples:

A watch with GPS;
A stability ball;
Colorful t-shirts to wear during your walks.

After all, you’re no longer a newbie. You are now at Level Two, and you have the props that go along with being at this higher level. In addition, your rewards will help you in leveling up even further.

Step Eight – Keep Leveling Up

Once you’ve reached Level Two, you’re ready to move on to Level Three. Simply follow the same process:

Ask yourself what Level Three looks like.
Ask yourself what action you need to take in order to move up to Level Three.
Make the action fun (turn it into a game).
Take the necessary action.
Once you’ve reached Level Three, reward yourself.

Keep leveling up until you reach Level Ten.

Conclusion

What level are you currently at for each area of your life (physical fitness, emotional well-being, relationships, career, and so on)? How can you move up to the next level? How can you make the action that you need to take fun? Live your best life by living your life as a game and continuously looking for ways to level up.

Let the games begin!

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How to Get a Harvard-Quality Liberal Education In 15 Minutes a Day (For Free)

by Marelisa

Charles W. Eliot was the president of Harvard University for forty years, from 1869 to 1909. He’s considered to be responsible for building Harvard into one of the world’s greatest universities.

During a speech given to a group of working men, Eliot famously declared that the elements of a liberal education could be obtained in one year by spending 15 minutes a day reading from a collection of books that could fit on a five-foot shelf.

A publisher who heard Eliot’s speech challenged him to make good on his statement and to put together an appropriate collection of books. Thus, “The Harvard Classics”–also known as “The Five-Foot Shelf”–was born. Basically, it’s a portable university.

The Harvard Classics contains 51 volumes. Each volume has 400-450 pages, and the included texts are “so far as possible, entire works or complete segments of the world’s written legacies.” In addition, the works cover the following six areas of knowledge:

The History of Civilization
Religion and Philosophy
Education
Science
Politics
Criticism of Literature and the Fine Arts

Some of the works included are the following:

The Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin
The Apology, Phaedo, and Crito, by Plato
Essays, Civil and Moral, and New Atlantis, by Francis Bacon
Complete poems written in English, by John Milton
The Origin of Species, by Charles Darwin
Aeneid, by Virgil
Aesop’s Fables
Faust (Part 1), Egmont, and Hermann and Dorothea, by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
On Liberty by John Stuart Mill
The Prince, by Niccolò Machiavelli
The Wealth of Nations by Adam Smith

You can see a list of all 51 volumes, and read what each volume contains, on the Wikipedia entry for The Harvard Classics.

366 Day Project

Of course, 51 volumes containing an average of 425 pages each comes to over 20,000 pages. I don’t know of anyone who can read 20,000 pages in one year by devoting just 15 minutes a day to the task.

However, Eliot went further. He offers a reading plan in which he selects the most important segments of each of the works in his collection. Each of these segments can be read in 15 minutes. In addition, Elliot’s reading plan contains 366 entries; that is, one for each day of the year.

You can find the reading plan recommended by Eliot here. Moreover, you can find digital scans of “The Harvard Classics”–which you can access for free– here. (If you’d like, you can also get audio, but that comes with a $45 price tag.)

In a post which I wrote at the end of last year, I recommended that for 2013 you launch a one-year, or 365-day, project. Reading The Harvard Classics is a fantastic one year project. However, you don’t have to wait for the New Year. You can get a Harvard-quality liberal education by reading 15 minutes a day, every day for a year, starting now.

Several people have taken on this project and have blogged about it. One person who did this is Randolph T. Holhut, the chief editorial writer at the Brattleboro (Vt.) Reformer and a graduate of Harvard University’s John F. Kennedy School of Government. You can find his blog, “The Harvard Classics: Fifteen Minutes A Day”, here.

Here’s an interesting quote from Holhut:

“Read Machiavelli, and you understand the Bush administration. Read Darwin, and you see how utterly wrong the creationists are. Read Plutarch and you understand that political intrigue is nothing new. Read Rousseau, Locke and Voltaire and you see why our founding fathers rejected the notion of America as a Christian theocracy. Read the sweep of human thought from Plato and Homer to Emerson and Mill, and you will ultimately end up with a better understanding of what is going around us and see how little new there is under the sun.”

Conclusion

One of the things that most excites me about The Harvard Classics–and its availability online–is what one author refers to as “the democratization of education”. Anyone, anywhere in the world can have access to this knowledge. All they need is to have access to a computer and to the internet.

With projects such as The Harvard Classics and the lectures from top universities which are being made available online, for free, we can all benefit from the very best education that’s out there. This, in my opinion, can help level the playing field so that we can all have a fighting chance to get ahead in life.

You now have access to a virtual five-foot bookshelf containing the world’s greatest knowledge. What will you do with it?

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25 Ways to Be More Creative

by Marelisa

In the introduction to my ebook, “How to Be More Creative – A Handbook for Alchemists”, I write the following:

“Being creative can involve cooking a meal from scratch, creating a novel marketing campaign, making up a bedtime story for your child, finding ways to cut costs, or even developing a creative solution to a negotiation impasse. Whatever you do, creativity helps you do it better.”

Here, then, are 25 ways to help you be more creative.

1. Simply begin. Creativity is there all the time. You need to begin, and then inspiration will come to you. When you’re cranky, when all you can think about are all the things on your to do list that need to get done, when you feel that you’re just not “in the mood” to create, when your inner critic tries to dissuade you from even trying, do it anyway.

When Michael Mikalko–author of “Cracking Creativity”–has writer’s block, he simply sits down and writes, “O, lend me to some peaceful gloom,” over and over until his own thoughts and words come. Then he just keeps going.

2. Remember there is more than one right answer. Consider the high school science exam where one question was: “How can you determine the height of a building using a barometer?”

Most students, after recalling the teacher’s lecture on this subject, gave the answer, “Measure the atmospheric pressure at the top of the building, measure it at the bottom of the building, note the difference, and then calculate the height.”

Two students were marked wrong for their answers. One responded, “Take the barometer to the top of the building, throw it off the roof, time how long it takes until you hear a crash, and then use the acceleration-through-space formula to calculate the distance it traveled.” That answer was not what the teacher was expecting; but it works.

Another student answered that he would find the owner of the building and offer him the barometer in exchange for being told the height of the building. This answer would also have worked. (Source).

3. Watch “The Three Stooges”. Laughing has been shown to help people think more broadly, associate freely, and notice complex relationships. One study found that people who had just watched a video of television bloopers were better at solving a puzzle long used by psychologists to test creative thinking.

Edward de Bono writes about humor in his book, “I am Right, You are Wrong”. He explains that humor is based on a logic very different from traditional logic. The significance of humor is that it indicates pattern-forming, pattern asymmetry and pattern-switching. Therefore, humor has the same basis as creativity and lateral thinking.

4. Combine. Combine ideas in a unique way; look for relationships between disparate things; make useful associations among ideas; look afresh at what you normally take for granted. Here are two examples:

Wheels + gym shoe = roller skates
TV + Music = MTV.

As Thomas Disch once said, “Creativity is the ability to see relationships where none existed.”

5. Change perspectives. Look at your topic from many different perspectives. How would a mystic approach this idea? How would a rocket scientist look at this? What would a child do? What would a very old person do? What would a really lazy person do? What would Donald Trump do?

6. Be curious about everything. You never know when random, seemingly unrelated ideas will come together to form a new idea. Here’s a quote from Carl Ally:

“The creative person wants to be a know-it-all. He wants to know about all kinds of things-ancient history, nineteenth century mathematics, current manufacturing techniques, hog futures. Because he never knows when these ideas might come together to form a new idea. It may happen six minutes later, or six months, or six years. But he has faith that it will happen.”

7. Drench Yourself In Creativity. Go to museums and gallery openings. Go to the symphony and to rock concerts. Read great works of literature. Go to poetry readings.

8. Challenge your assumptions. A fat, round watermelon takes up a lot of room. Instead of just assuming that watermelons had to be round, Japanese farmers began inserting melons in square glass cases while they were still growing on the vine.

The end result was a square watermelon which fits conveniently in the refrigerators in which they’re transported. What assumptions are you making that are stopping you from finding a solution to your problem? (Source).

9. Play Baroque Music. Baroque music-such as Vivaldi’s “The Four Seasons” and Pachbel’s “Canon”-has been shown to synchronize brain waves at about 60 cycles per second, a frequency associated with increased alpha waves. In turn, alpha is a frequency of mind associated with enhanced creativity.

10. Exaggerate. What if you were a thousand times smarter? What if you were two inches tall? Make the colors brighter. Now see it in black and white.

11. Shift gears. Take time off and put together a jigsaw puzzle. Follow Einstein’s advice: take a nap. Isaac Asimov was quoted as saying that when he got stuck writing a book he would simply put the project aside and start writing a completely different book.

Seymour Cray, the legendary designer of high-speed computers, used to divide his time between building the next generation super computer and digging an underground tunnel below his Chippewa Falls house. Thomas Edison, a man with over 1,000 patents to his credit, would go down to the dock and fish. Ray Bradbury would go for a bike ride.

12. Look to nature. Are there any analogies you can draw from nature? Velcro was inspired by nature. The Swiss Georges de Mestral, inventor of Velcro, noticed how the sticky seed heads of burdock plants attached themselves to his pants and to his dog after walks in the woods. This observation led him to invent the product now called Velcro in 1948.

13. Avoid crowds. Take Hugh MacLeod’s advice: don’t try to stand out from the crowd. Instead, avoid crowds altogether. Mad Magazine’s Al Jaffee conceived of his comic strip “Tall Tales” while going through a difficult time financially.

Jaffee managed to break into the business of syndicated comics by doing something different than what everybody else was doing: rather than drawing a traditional horizontal strip that would compete with the existing material, he opted for a seven-inch-tall vertical strip, which gave editors a lot more flexibility as to where in the paper the strip would run. (Source).

What can you do that is different from what everyone else is doing?

14. Wake up your right brain. The right brain is your creativity center. Because the right brain hemisphere controls the left side of your body, you can activate this creativity center by breathing out of only your left nostril, jumping up and down on your left foot, and writing with your left hand.

You can also wake up the right side of the brain by doing something artistic such as drawing, playing a musical instrument, creating mandalas, and so on. In addition, meditation stimulates the right brain hemisphere.

15. Use the Random Word Technique. Start by writing down a description of your problem, challenge or opportunity. Then, choose a random word–you can open a dictionary and choose the first word your eyes focus on–and write down any associations that it makes you think of. After jotting down a number of words or short phrases, review your associations and your problem statement, and determine if you could adapt any of your associations to your current problem.

16. Create a mindmap. Write a topic heading in the center of a white piece of paper and then start writing related ideas on branches linked to the main topic; then add more ideas as sub-branches. Create as many levels of ideas as you want. Use different colors and add illustrations.

17. Disrupt your habitual thought patterns. Take a different route to work, try food you’ve never eaten before, listen to a music genre you normally don’t listen to, read different magazines, and so on. Explore something new, try something you’ve always wondered about.

18. Re-connect with your inner child. Buy crayons and a coloring book-the big thick kind filled with all kinds of images that you loved as a child–and sit down for an afternoon of coloring. It’s OK if you color outside the lines. Play jacks, draw with chalk on the sidewalk, build a fortress, go to the playground and climb on the swings . . .

19. Break it down. Break a problem down into it’s smallest components and rebuild it from the ground up, questioning at every step whether that’s the best way to do it.

20. Ask lots of questions. Constantly ask: “What if . . .”; “Why not . . .”; “How else can this be done?”; “How can this be improved?”; “What other alternatives are there?”; “What am I missing?”

21. Focus. Great creative breakthroughs usually happen only after we have focused sufficient attention on our subject matter. That is, AHA! moments normally come only after much intense conscious effort.

In 1816, Mary Shelley spent the summer with her husband–the Romantic poet and philosopher Percy Shelley–, the poet Lord Byron, and others in Switzerland. It was raining a lot, so they would entertain themselves by reading ghost stories. Then, they decided that they would each write a horror story and share it with the others.

Mary spent her days trying to think up of a horror story to share with the group. Then, in a waking dream, the idea for Frankenstein came to her. That is, although the idea for Frankenstein came to Mary in a flash, it came to her as a result of focusing intently on trying to think up of a horror story.

22. Set a quantity quota. Instead of telling yourself that you’re going to find a solution to a problem, tell yourself that you have to come up with 100 possible solutions. That is, emphasize quantity over quality. This allows your inner perfectionist to relax and to allow the ideas to flow.

23. Make it visual. Learn to draw, even if it’s very rudimentary sketches. Use Betty Edwards’ book “Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain” to teach yourself to draw.

24. Practice being in a receptive state of mind. Instead of constantly having the television on, listening to your iPod, and surrounding yourself with noise and other distractions, practice being in a relaxed, contemplative state of mind. This state of mind is the one most conducive to allowing creative thoughts to slip into your mind.

25. Avoid Disruptions. It’s difficult, if not impossible, to enter your creative zone when you’re constantly being interrupted. Jonathan Franzen wrote his 2001 novel “The Corrections” at times wearing earplugs, earmuffs and a blindfold. That might be too extreme for most of us, but at the very least try to find a quiet place, turn off your cell phone and other communications devices, and then get to work.

Apply the 25 ways to be more creative described above, and start being more creative right away.

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Seven Ways Your Body Language Can Positively Influence Your Life

by Marelisa

You can greatly improve your life by working on your body language.

Studies have shown that the right body language can help you with all of the following:

It can help you to connect with others and get your message across more effectively.
It can communicate confidence and assertiveness.
The right body postures can make you more persistent.
Certain body postures can improve your performance.

Small tweaks to your body language done consistently can have a huge impact on the quality of your life. Below you’ll discover seven ways your body language can positively influence your life.

The Victory Stance

Amy Joy Cuddy is an American social psychologist known for her research on nonverbal behavior and the effects of social stimuli on hormone levels, among other things. She delivered a TED.com talk in 2012 titled, “Your Body Language Shapes Who You Are“. Her talk has been viewed over 5 million times and ranks among the fifteen most watched TED Talks.

In her talk Cuddy argues that your body language not only affects how others perceive you, but it also affects your own feelings of confidence and power. For example, a nonverbal expression of power and dominance will not only make others perceive you as being more powerful, it will also make you feel more powerful.

In the animal kingdom, animals express power and dominance by expanding: they make themselves bigger, they stretch out, and they take up more space. That is, it’s about opening up. People do the same thing. Therefore, if there’s a situation coming up for which you want to feel powerful, you can fake it until you make it by adopting a stance in which you stretch yourself out.

Some situations in which you will probably want to feel more powerful are the following:

You’re going to a job interview (you want to come across as being proactive, assertive, and sure of yourself and your abilities).
You’re walking into a classroom in which participation is part of your grade (you want to have the confidence to raise your hand and be an active participant in the discussion).
You’re walking into a business meeting (you want to persuade others to follow your agenda).

Cuddy recommends that before you walk into these situations you find a place where you can have some privacy. Then, hold a victory stance for two minutes. Here’s how to do it:

Stand up straight;
Push your shoulders back;
Widen your stance;
Hold your head high; and
Raise your arms up in a “V” shape.

Think of the Rocky statue at the entrance of the Philadelphia Museum of Art (see the image below).

Why does this stance help make us feel more powerful? We know that our minds affect our bodies. However, the opposite is also true: our bodies affect our minds. There are two key hormones when it comes to feeling powerful:

Testosterone, which is the dominance hormone; and
Cortisol, which is the stress hormone.

High power alpha males in primate hierarchies have high testosterone levels and low cortisol levels. And this is not just with primates. Powerful and effective leaders also have high testosterone levels and low cortisol levels. That is, they’re powerful and assertive, but not stress-reactive. They can remain calm even during stressful situations.

At the same time, studies have shown that holding the stance described above for two minutes has the effect that you’re looking for: it increases your testosterone levels and it decreases your cortisol levels. That is, it configures your brain to cope in the best way that it possibly can in any given situation.

Three Postures That Will Boost Your Performance

Psychologist Jeremy Dean explains that our body posture affects our mind. This in turn affects how we act. Therefore, if we can get our bodies to affect our minds in positive ways, this can boost our performance. He then goes on to list ten postures which studies show can have a powerful positive impact on our minds.

Here are three of the postures he recommends:

If you need to increase your willpower, tense up your body muscles.
If you want to be more persuasive when speaking, use hand gestures. In addition, try to use hand gestures that make what you’re saying more understandable (for example, if you’re referring to the past, point behind you).
If you’re working on a problem which requires persistence, cross your arms.

You can read about all ten body postures here.

Three Ways to Get a Nonverbal Advantage

Carol Kinsey Goman, Ph.D., is the author of the book, “The Nonverbal Advantage: Secrets and Science of Body Language at Work”. Dr. Goman explains that good nonverbal communication skills are essential in dealing effectively with other people. Here are three of the tips offered by Dr. Goman for using your body language to your advantage:

One. When you’re walking down the street and you suddenly see someone whom you recognize, your eyebrows will automatically move up slightly. This is a response that can be seen across all cultures.

You can use this to your advantage by mimicking this automatic response when meeting someone new. That is, within the first seven seconds of meeting someone, raise your eyebrows slightly. This will make you seem friendly and approachable.

Two. Dr. Goman explains that charisma is simply enthusiasm projected outward through body language. She indicates that if you want to appear charismatic during a meeting, you should think back to a time when there was something that you felt very enthusiastic about.

By identifying with an event in the past during which you were filled with enthusiasm, you’re more likely to project body language which signifies confidence and charisma.

Three. To make a difficult task seem easier, smile. Dr. Goman explains that Charles Garfield, the author of “Peak Performance”, once coached the Russian Olympic weight-lifting team. He noticed that when team members lifted to exhaustion they would grimace.

Garfield decided to conduct an experiment. He encouraged these Russian athletes to smile when they got to the point of exhaustion. Smiling enabled them to add 2-3 more reps to their performance.

Basically, when you grimace you’re sending the following message to your brain: “I can’t do this anymore”. The brain responds to this message by releasing stress chemicals which make the task even more difficult. However, when you smile you send your brain the opposite message:”I’m OK; I can do this”. As a result, your performance improves.

Conclusion

Changing your body language can change the way in which others perceive you, and even the way in which you perceive yourself. In addition, your body postures and facial expressions send signals to your brain to release hormones into your blood stream which affect how you feel and, therefore, how you act. Improve your life by improving your body language.

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42 Days of Random Acts of Kindness

by Marelisa

A while back I came across a blog post in which a woman explained that she had just turned 38 years old, and that she had spent her birthday doing 38 random acts of kindness. I immediately thought, “What a fantastic idea!”

Inspired by that blog post, I decided to do 42 random acts of kindness for my 42nd birthday (I know, I don’t look a day over 30. ). However, I changed it up a bit: instead of doing 42 random acts of kindness on one day, I decided to do one act of kindness a day, for 42 days, as a countdown to my birthday.

My birthday is on May 2nd, so I started the countdown on March 21st. Here’s what I did for my 42 days of random acts of kindness:

Day 1 – March 21st: I left 2 quarters in the change slot of a public phone located next to a park which I walk by on a daily basis.

Day 2 – March 22nd: I helped out two tourists looking for the Trump building here in Panama (yes, as in Donald Trump).

Day 3 – March 23rd: I donated the $16.61 I had in my Kiva account to Kiva for operating expenses (Kiva gives loans to people in developing countries to help them with their small businesses).

Day 4 – March 24th: A woman standing behind me in the line at the fruit grocery store asked me if she could pay before me, and I let her.

Day 5 – March 25th: I donated $10 to “Save the Children” (an organization that helps children in need in the United States and around the world).

Day 6 – March 26th: I sent out a tweet recommending my awesome graphic designer to others.

Day 7 – March 27th: Donated 1000 grains of rice through the World Food Programme.

Day 8 – March 28th: Held the door to my building’s lobby open for a neighbor who was coming up the stairs.

Day 9 – March 29th: There’s a fast-food Chinese restaurant here in Panama called “Don Lee”. For every $2.50 cents that you pay, you get a sticker called a “paisanito” which is basically worth 25 cents. You can either exchange the paisanitos for food at Don Lee, or you can donate them to help feed the hungry. Today I ate at Don Lee and donated the paisanito that they gave me.

Day 10 – March 30th: Contributed to the Wikipedia community by reporting an error in one of their articles.

Day 11 – March 31st: Went to Don Lee again and donated two paisanitos (see Day 9).

Day 12 – April 1st: I sent my brother an email telling him that I miss him and planning a get-together.

Day 13 – April 2nd: Helped out three people asking for critiques of their lenses in the Squidoo forum.

Day 14 – April 3rd: I saw a woman driving at night with her car lights off, and I let her know.

Day 15 – April 4th: I reviewed, “Decisive: How to Make Better Choices in Life and Work” on Amazon. As an author, I know how grateful I am every time someone takes the time to let me know what they thought of one of my eBooks.

Day 16 – April 5th: I left $1 in the donation box at the Arrocha pharmacy for the “Casita de Mausi” (a shelter that provides a place to stay for low income people from the interior of the country who come to the capital to get cancer treatment at the hospitals here).

Day 17 – April 6th: I was standing in the express line at the supermarket and I had eight items. The girl standing behind me only had a carton of eggs, so I let her go in front of me.

Day 18 – April 7th: I told a man walking along with his two little twins that his daughters are beautiful. I got a big smile for that.

Day 19 – April 8th: I left 2 quarters in the coin slot of a public phone near my apartment.

Day 20 – April 9th: I went to visit my two little nephews and played everything they wanted for 2.5 hours. This meant watching Angry Birds videos with the five year-old until he left for his karate lessons, and playing Battleship on the iPad and then Legos with the eight year-old.

Day 21 – April 10th: I sent my sister an email offering to take care of her two little boys so that she and her husband could have dinner out for her birthday.

Day 22 – April 11th: I helped out three people asking for critiques of their lenses in the Squidoo forum.

Day 23 – April 12th: An elderly lady asked me for money as I walked down the street, and I gave her a $1 bill.

Day 24 – April 13th: I called my brother to catch up on how he’s doing.

Day 25 – April 14th: I left $1 on the edge of a flower pot next to a sidewalk that gets a lot of foot traffic.

Day 26 – April 15th: I found a small blog that doesn’t get a lot of traffic and I left an encouraging comment.

Day 27 – April 16th: I called my 91 year-old grandmother just to say “hello” and see how she’s doing. My grandfather passed away about 30 years ago.

Day 28 – April 17th: I was friendly to a pharmacy employee whom I reported for rudeness a couple of weeks ago. She apologized for her rudeness, and I wanted her to know that it’s now water under the bridge.

Day 29 – April 18th: Made a $10 donation to “The One Fund Boston, Inc.”. This fund was set up by Massachusetts Governor Deval Patrick and Boston Mayor Tom Menino to help the people most affected by the tragic events that occurred in Boston on April 15th of this year.

Day 30 – April 19th: I helped out a man at the supermarket who was looking for balsamic vinegar.

Day 31 – April 2oth: I stopped to pet a dog (because dogs need kindness, too).

Day 32 – April 21st: I went to a buffet brunch with my family. I served a plate for my grandmother so she didn’t have to get up.

Day 33 – April 22nd: I chatted for a while with an elderly waiter who works at a club I go to often. He’s always looking for someone to listen to his latest ailments.

Day 34 – April 23rd: I helped a man pick out fruit at the fruit store.

Day 35 – April 24th: I overheard a lady who works at a pharmacy that I frequent saying that it was her birthday, so I went over to wish her a happy birthday. Incidentally, I know her name because I make it a point to learn the names of the employees who work at places I go to often.

Day 36 – April 25th: I picked up litter as I went for a walk (a Styrofoam cup, an ATM receipt, and a candy wrapper)

Day 37 – April 26th: I smiled at and greeted three strangers as I walked home today (and yes, they smiled back).

Day 38 – April 27th: I gave a box of raisins to a security guard I came across as I walked home from the grocery store.

Day 39 – April 28th: There’s a shopping cart in my building’s garage so that people can take their groceries up to their apartment. Whoever uses the shopping cart is supposed to take it back to its proper place when they’re done. However, today when I walked into the elevator, I saw that someone had left the shopping cart in there. As my act of kindness, I returned the cart to where it belongs.

Incidentally, there was a dollar bill in the shopping cart. I guess it was left there as a tip for whoever returned the shopping cart (I had never been tipped before). I took the dollar bill and deposited it in the donations box at a pharmacy I frequent.

Day 40 – April 29th: I went to Popeye’s and got some Chicken Bites. The meal comes with an iced tea, and I ordered it to go. As I left Popeye’s I noticed an elderly lady who looked like she could use the iced tea, and I gave it to her. She was very grateful.

Day 41 – April 30th: Made a $25 donation to Kiva.

Day 42 – May 1st: This random act of kindness is for you. I’m going to give you 50% off on all of my eBooks, for 48 hours, starting the moment this blog post is published and ending at midnight on May 2nd. Use the discount code: “birthday” (without the quotations).

Here are my eBooks:

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50 Self-Esteem Quotes to Give Your Confidence a Boost

by Marelisa

Boiled down to its essence, self-esteem simply means accepting and appreciating yourself for who you are.

People with high self-esteem feel good about themselves and appreciate their own worth. At the same time, they acknowledge their weaknesses but they don’t allow those weaknesses to play an irrationally large role in their lives.

People with high self-esteem are happier than those with low self-worth. They’re also more likely to take on difficult tasks and persevere in the face of failure. Therefore, they’re more likely to succeed.

Below you’ll discover 50 self-esteem quotes to give your confidence a boost, so that you can be happier and experience more success in your life.

1. “You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” ~ Buddha

2. “Your chances of success in any undertaking can always be measured by your belief in yourself.” ~ Robert Collier

3. “The strongest single factor in prosperity consciousness is self-esteem: believing you can do it, believing you deserve it, believing you will get it.” ~ Jerry Gillies

4. “There is overwhelming evidence that the higher the level of self-esteem, the more likely one will be to treat others with respect, kindness, and generosity.” ~ Nathaniel Branden

5. “The golden opportunity you are seeking is in yourself. It is not in your environment, it is not in luck or chance, or the help of others; it is in yourself alone.” ~ Orison Swett Marden

6. “Listen to your heart above all other voices.” ~ Marta Kagan

7. “Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else.” ~ Judy Garland

8. “You were not born a winner, and you were not born a loser. You are what you make yourself be.” ~ Lou Holtz

9. “Self-trust is the first secret of success.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

10. “The most important opinion you have is the one you have of yourself, and the most significant things you say all day are those things you say to yourself.” ~ Unknown Author

11. “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

12. “Trust yourself. Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life. Make the most of yourself by fanning the tiny, inner sparks of possibility into flames of achievement.” ~ Golda Meir

13. “Someone else’s opinion of you does not have to become your reality.” ~ Les Brown

14. “I was always looking outside myself for strength and confidence but it comes from within. It is there all the time.” ~ Anna Freud

15. “If I am not for myself, who will be?” ~ Pirke Avoth

16. “The tragedy is that so many people look for self-confidence and self-respect everywhere except within themselves, and so they fail in their search.” ~ Dr. Nathaniel Branden

17. “It took me a long time not to judge myself through someone else’s eyes.” ~ Sally Field

18. “The way you treat yourself sets the standard for others.” ~ Dr. Sonya Friedman

19. “There is only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that’s your own self.” ~ Aldous Leonard Huxley

20. “You have within you right now, everything you need to deal with whatever the world can throw at you.” ~ Brian Tracy

21. “Aerodynamically the bumblebee shouldn’t be able to fly, but the bumblebee doesn’t know that so it goes on flying anyway.” ~ Mary Kay Ash

22. “If you doubt you can accomplish something, then you can’t accomplish it. You have to have confidence in your ability, and then be tough enough to follow through.” ~ Rosalyn Smith Carter

23. “Confidence comes not from always being right but from not fearing to be wrong.” ~ Peter Mcintyre

24. “We have to learn to be our own best friends because we fall too easily into the trap of being our own worst enemies.” ~ Roderick Thorp

25. “It ain’t what they call you, it’s what you answer to.” ~ W.C. Fields

26. “Whether you think you can or think you can’t – you are right.” ~ Henry Ford

27. “I am convinced all of humanity is born with more gifts than we know. Most are born geniuses and just get de-geniused rapidly.” ~ Buckminster Fuller

28. “If you really put a small value upon yourself, rest assured that the world will not raise your price.” ~Author Unknown

29. “Thousands of geniuses live and die undiscovered – either by themselves or by others.” ~ Mark Twain

30. “Nothing splendid has ever been achieved except by those who dared believe that something inside of them was superior to circumstance.” ~ Bruce Barton

31. “Always act like you’re wearing an invisible crown.” ~ Author Unknown

32. “What a man thinks of himself, that it is which determines, or rather indicates his fate.” ~Henry David Thoreau

33. “The best way to gain self-confidence is to do what you are afraid to do.” ~ Author Unknown

34. “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” ~ Marianne Williamson

35. “Well, we all know that self-esteem comes from what you think of you, not what other people think of you.” ~ Gloria Gaynor

36. “To trust one’s mind and to know that one is worthy of happiness is the essence of self-esteem.” ~ Nathaniel Branden

37. “Too many people overvalue what they are not, and undervalue what they are.” ~ Malcolm Forbes

38. “Of all the judgments we pass in life, none is more important than the judgment we pass on ourselves”. ~ Nathaniel Branden.

39. “One of the most significant characteristics of healthy esteem is that it is the state of one who is not at war either with himself or with others”. ~ Nathaniel Branden.

40. “The most important key to the permanent enhancement of esteem is the practice of positive inner-talk”. ~ Dennis Waitley.

41. “The greatest success is successful self-acceptance.” ~ Ben Sweet

42. “Love is the great miracle cure. Loving ourselves works miracles in our lives.” ~ Louise L. Hay.

43. “To have an incredible increase in self esteem, all you have to do is start doing some little something. You don’t have to do spectacularly dramatic things for self esteem to start going off the scale. Just make a commitment to any easy discipline. Then another one and another one.” ~ Jim Rohn

44. “Self worth cannot be verified by others. You are worthy because you say it is so. If you depend on others for your value it is other-worth.” ~ Wayne Dyer

45. “Persons of high self esteem are not driven to make themselves superior to others; they do not seek to prove their value by measuring themselves against a comparative standard. Their joy is being who they are, not in being better than someone else.” ~ Nathaniel Branden

46. “Having a low opinion of yourself is not ‘modesty’. It’s self-destruction. Holding your uniqueness in high regard is not ‘egotism’. It’s a necessary precondition to happiness and success.” ~ Bobbe Sommer

47. “Tell me how a person judges his or her self esteem and I will tell you how that person operates at work, in love, in sex, in parenting, in every important aspect of existence – and how high he or she is likely to rise. The reputation you have with yourself – your self-esteem – is the single most important factor for a fulfilling life.” ~ Nathaniel Branden

48. “Never bend your head. Hold it high. Look the world straight in the eye.” ~ Helen Keller

49. “Today you are you, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is youer than you.” ~ Dr. Seuss

50. “People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in their true beauty is revealed only if there is light from within.” ~ Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

Giving your self-esteem a boost is one of the most important steps you can take in order to live your best life. Begin applying the wisdom contained in the quotes above, today.

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The Thirteen Virtues

The Methodology

Follow Franklin’s Example

Conclusion

Rich Dad v. Poor Dad Mentality

The Dalai Lama: Money is Good

Donald Trump: Money is Simply a Measurement of How Well You Play the Game

Warren Buffett: The Importance of Self-Confidence

Jack Canfield on the Decision to Be Rich

Mastering the Inner Game of Wealth: T. Harv Eker

Steve Pavlina – Creating Abundance

Conclusion

The Allure of Exclusivity

The Silver Level

The Gold Level

The Platinum Door (or The Dumpster)

Conclusion

Step One – Identify Your Current Level

Step Two – Don’t Compare Yourself to Those Who Are At Level Ten

Step Three – You Can’t Leap From Level One to Level Ten

Step Four – Identify What the Next Level Looks Like

Step Five – Identify the Action You Need to Take To Level Up

Step Six – Act

Step Seven – Reward Yourself

Step Eight – Keep Leveling Up

Conclusion

366 Day Project

Conclusion

The Victory Stance

Three Postures That Will Boost Your Performance

Three Ways to Get a Nonverbal Advantage

Conclusion

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